Thursday, July 12, 2007


I was in the Coleman Home in Indianapolis, In. I was 16 yrs old on the day my daughter was born. I was told--you're too young to love this baby--you WILL forget--IT will be called a bastard if you keep it--no decent man will marry you-- just forget it ever happened, don't speak of it again.
You're a slut and a bad girl and you have to give the baby up, you don't deserve her after what you did. She needs 2 parents--we guarantee they will be just perfect. Yes, I was brainwashed to believe all of this.
I should have had counseling and should have been able to make my own choice. I shouldn't have suffered all those years from the lies I was told. We were like breeding cattle, our feelings didn't matter. We were left alone to labor and were told, see what happened to you because of what you did. Then arms and legs strapped down and then knocked out so you wouldn't see the baby. I had to beg to even find out it was a girl. What a price to pay to go through the birth and not even see the baby. To be all alone and wonder if ashe was alright. To wonder and wonder and cry and cry, to suffer each birthday, to have such empty arms, to grow up over night and not be the girl you used to be. To wonder why you never forgot the way they told you you would.
ALL of us were lied to. No one should be ashamed. I think we were treated just one step below a murderer. We commeted the unpardonable sin. It took me years to overcome this. By talking to other Moms I finally found out we ARE good people who just made a mistake. I, however, have never heard from another Coleman Mom who has had the guts to stand up for herself now. I just can't imagine I am the only one. I am asking you to contact us on this site or email me at .
I also asking Amy's mother to please stand up and be proud of your daughter, she wasn't a mistake, she is a beautiful person. Don't think any other children will be ashamed of you. What they would be is disapointed that you have lied to them all these years. She will find you one day for sure and if then you are gone you won't be able to tell your story to your family in your own words. Please acknowledge her and make her pain go away, you are denying yourself and your family so much!!
Coleman Moms, please speak up. don't let their brainwashing last all these years. We owe our children to know they were loved and where they came from. We need to TELL abt the hell we went thro. Giving us no choice and taking these babies from us and urging us to be ashamed and hide it from the world. Help us all to contact each other and talk about what we went through. I am hoping desparately to hear from any of you!! Janice Barnes


Anonymous said...

We are very, very lucky parents who adopted a child from the Suemma Coleman Home many years ago. Unfortunately, we were contacted by them, after this child was grown, asking us for this child's name and phone number without telling us why. The person asking us was not at all pleasant in her request nor would she tell us anything about why she wanted to know. She found that information anyway somehow through the internet. I very much resent the way that was handled.

babs said...

I never was made to feel the way you describe. I just realized that I was too young to properly raise and support a child. I have gone on to have a great life. I wonder about the child sometimes but what's done is done. It would be nice to have the records opened for people who want them but to open them to everyone without consent is not a good idea. I'm sorry you are still so upset about your situation. I hope you find some peace

Coleman Moms and Babes said...

Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you were treated rudely. I do have to address something that perturbs me. You keep referring to your child as "this child." "This child was grown." First off this is your son or daughter. I would hope that you treated this child of yours as special and loved. It doesn't sound like she or he is to you. This child is an adult. As such, he or she should be given the same adult choices. I am an adoptee from Coleman but this blog post was written by a Coleman birth mother.

Dear Babs,

Again it is the same type of "the child" terminology that really bugs me. This child may being raised by someone else. That child is also part of you. You don't stop being a mother just because you could not raise your child.

Second, those records belong to both the adoptee and the birth mother. Neither have more power over the other. Look at it in the terms of the non adopted. Does your mother own your birth certificate and have the right to restrict you from having access to it? NO! Why should I be restricted from having access to a document that rightfully belongs to me and my birth mother?

Anonymous said...

No one has posted here in a long time, but I will try anyway. I am an adoptee who was told that at 18 I could get bare bones info on my adoption from the agency. When I called the woman I got was very rude and unhelpful. I was born in Indianapolis in Nov of 79, my mother was 16. She left me a beautiful letter, and I would love to make contact. My name is Angie, my email is katetof419@yahoo.

Andrea Elaine said...

I am a Suemma Coleman Mom and I too was considered the shame of the family. I was shuttled off to the Suemma Colemman Home to have my baby in secret to later return to my life as if nothing happenned. I begged my Mom to please don't make me stay here. I cried and cried and she gave in and took me back home. I empathize with you and what you are feeling and hope that you are successful if overcoming this event.