Wednesday, December 31, 2008

OH MY WHAT A TEMPTATION!

There is an article in this newspaper, but you have to be a subscriber. An adoptee is wanting her information. She has a name but doesn't know where to start. I sent this letter to the author of the column.

Dear Ms. Shelter,

My name is Amy K. Burt. I am the founder of Indiana Open. We are a grassroots group dedicated to getting adoptees and first parents access to the original birth certificate. We are currently working with Senator Patricia Miller in hopefully presenting a bill for this legislative year.

Our organization has several search angels that would be willing to help her find her mother for her. We normally do not make contact with the first parents or the adoptee, whom ever is being searched. We find the information for them and hand it over to them. It is a way of empowering the adoptee or the first parent.

So many of us have had that choice taken from them by the laws of Indiana and by the adoption agency themselves.

If you would like more information on our group or just like to visit, we can be found at the following locations.

http://indianaopen.org
http://blog.indianaopen.org
http://myforum.indianaopen.org
http://myspace.com/indianaopen

We are also on twitter, technorati, digg, and delicious. We will be adding a tag page and a facebook as well. We currently have over forty members. We also have a petition as well.

Sincerely,
Amy K. Burt, founder/owner of Indiana Open
Pam Kroskie, co founder/search angel
Melissa Shelton, MSW co founder/ American Adoption Congress represenative

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

PUTTING THEM ON ALERT

Yep it is time for adoption agencies and many religious entities. They are being put on alert at least by the gay/lesbian movement. If you come out politically against this group of people, you just might have your non profit and tax exempt status called into question. For the most part, these groups can do the dirty work that many of us have not been able to tackle ourselves due to lack of finances. You just might lose that protection. LDS Church is having the heat come down on them because of their participation in the Proposition 8. Their monies were being used to stop gay/lesbian marriages.

It looks like Arkansas might be the next target with the ACLU in this article:

ACLU of Arkansas Sues Over Adoption Restrictions
By The Associated Press - 12/30/2008 10:41:01 AM

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) - The American Civil Liberties Union of Arkansas says it has filed a lawsuit to strike down a new law banning unmarried couples from becoming foster or adoptive parents.

The group announced Tuesday that it had filed a lawsuit in Pulaski County Circuit Court seeking to overturn Initiated Act 1, which was approved by voters in last month's general election.

The group filed the lawsuit on behalf of 29 adults and children from more than a dozen families, including a grandmother who lives with her same-sex partner of nine years and is the only relative able and willing to adopt her grandchild, who is now in Arkansas' state care.

The group said that plaintiffs include several married, heterosexual couples who say they have relatives or friends who would not be able to adopt their children because of the new law, which takes effect Thursday.

The lawsuit was filed against the state of Arkansas, the attorney general, the Arkansas Department of Human Services and its director, and the Child Welfare Agency Review Board and its chairman.

The Arkansas Family Council, a conservative group that campaigned for the ban, said it was aimed at gay couples but the law will affect heterosexuals and homosexuals equally.

Department of Human Services officials have said they do not expect to have to remove any foster children from their homes when the new law takes effect. The state had already barred cohabiting unmarried couples from becoming foster parents and was in the process of reversing that policy when voters approved the new ban.

The law does not affect any adoptions that were finalized before it takes effect.

The ACLU had represented four plaintiffs in a lawsuit that led the state Supreme Court to overturn the state's ban on gay foster parents in 2006. The Family Council had campaigned for the initiated act in response to that ruling.

A STORY OUT OF MICHIGAN

These stories should put many adoption agencies on alert. Many of the mothers and fathers are not going to take this any longer. We must create uniform laws in adoption. It is literally a minefield when it comes to adoptees, first parents, and adoptive parents.

Here are my recommendations

1. Give adoptees unrestricted access to their own original birth certificates
2. Change the time frame in which a mother can change her mind. It would be a no questions kind of situation. I believe thirty days is a good number to start with. When a person buys a vacuum cleaner, they have thirty days to change their minds. It should be the same thing at the very minimum with placing a child.
3. Give relinquishing parents their own representation. They should have someone who is looking out for their best interests. Not an adoption attorney that is representation to both the adoptive parents and the relinquishing parents.

Here is the link and the story.

The Michigan Court of Appeals ruled that Cody will remain with his biological parents. (Photo Credit: FOX 2 News)
By BILL GALLAGHER
FOX 2 News

ECORSE, Mich. (WJBK) -- A long legal fight over a planned adoption ends with the biological parents being reunited with their son. The costly court battle lasted more than five years and drained the parents' resources.

Kenneth Barnett and Christine Wolfe received word on Christmas Eve that their son, Cody, would remain with them. The Michigan Court of Appeals ruled in their favor.

"I was just jumping and screaming for joy... It's the best Christmas present ever because my baby's home," said Wolfe.

"We were so thrilled that not only will this case... keep him home for good, but being that the decision was a precedent, it's going to be... very hard... for anybody to ever do this to a set of biological parents again," said Barnett.

In 2003, Wolfe gave birth to Cody after she and Barnett had divorced. She already had another child and considered allowing a Dearborn couple to adopt him. "I wanted the best for him and I thought I was doing the right thing and it wasn't," said Wolfe.

The couple got custody and guardianship of Cody, but Barnett never gave up his parental rights and fought any anticipated adoption. Wolfe also withdrew her consent, but the couple went to court, fighting to keep him as his parents' legal bills soared.

"We're close to $225,000... This has basically impoverished us," said Barnett.

The child bounced between the parents and the guardians who wanted to adopt him. Last year, Wolfe received full custody of Cody, but the other couple tried to get the decision reversed. The Court of Appeal's ruling halted that move.

Cody's parents argue these disputes should never last this long. "He spent three years of his life with two homes, two names, two schools, two religions, two families and nobody could stop and say wait a minute, let's put an end to this," said Barnett.

FOX 2 News attempted to contact the other couple involved for a comment, but were unable to reach them.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

ACROSS THE COUNTRY

Across this country of ours, adoptees, first families and adoptive families are a gathering and gaining strength. We will no longer be silent. We want to control our information. We no longer want adoption agencies involved. We no longer want the states to be involved in our business. We are verbalizing and speaking out loudly against the issue of sealed records.

We will be protesting in Philadelphia this year. We are forming websites, forums, and blogs to speak out against the injustice of sealed records. The words of the National Council for Adoption are ringing hollow in the ears of legislators. They are beginning to hear us. The sealed records of the past have no effect on an expectant mother's choices now. The mothers of the past are well past child bearing age so they can't go back and have an abortion.

The women's movement today is speaking out against many of the myths and fallacies of adoption.

Stand up and join us. Its time to bring the absolute control over adoptees and their families to an end. Its time to make these agencies do right by us.

SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

Yep as soon as this report came out, we all should have known that there would be repercussions from the Russians about it. There isn't any doubt on that one.

Here is the story about the Harrisons.

Father acquitted of manslaughter in July death of adopted toddler

By Scott McCabe
Examiner Staff Writer 12/17/08

A Loudoun County father was found not guilty of involuntary manslaughter Wednesday in the death of his son who was left in the back of a sweltering sport utility vehicle for nine hours this summer.

Fairfax County Judge R. Terence Ney ruled that Miles Harrison’s conduct did not meet the

legal standard for manslaughter, which requires “negligence so gross, wanton and culpable as to show a callous disregard for human life.”

Harrison’s actions were “tragic” but the new father was “dutiful and devoted,” Ney said.

“The only atonement can take place in his heart and soul,” Ney said.

Harrison, 49, of Purcellville, testified that he forgot to drop off 21-month-old Chase at a day care center in Ashburn on July 8. He then left the toddler inside his GMC Yukon for nine hours while he went to work at the Project Solutions Group in Herndon.

At about 5 p.m., when a co-worker told Harrison that Chase was in the SUV, he ran from his work desk to the parking lot, threw open the car door and tried to revive his son. Chase was a Russian-born child who had been adopted by Harrison and his wife, Carol, only three months earlier.

That evening at the hospital, a Fairfax County detective and hospital employees overheard Harrison calling out with remorse.

“I want my son. I left my son, I left him in the car. Look at what I did. I left him in the car,” Harrison could be heard saying, according to court documents. “I can’t live like this. How did this happen. ... God take me. He should not have taken my son.”

Prosecutors argued that Harrison might not have wanted to harm his son but he wasn’t willing to take on the responsibilities of being a father.

The death of Chase, born Dmitry Yakolev, sparked strife between Russia and the United States over adoption regulations. The Russians opened an investigation into European Adoption Consultants Inc., the company Harrison and his wife used to bring Dmitry to Virginia.

Russian officials called on the United States to tighten its standards and banned two other unnamed international adoption agencies.
Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.

You see I look at this different and probably similar to the Russians on this. I know that adoptive parents are not perfect. However, they are held to a higher standard that everyone else. They owe it to not only the children to do it right but also to the natural parents of that child to get it right. The adoption agencies however do not see it that way. All they see is the profit that these agencies make. The agency involved was European Adoption Consultants. This is the second child that they placed that has died in the care of adoptive parents. One really has to wonder if they are doing their jobs according to standard. Somehow I do not think so.

Here is what the Russians are saying about this so called trial:


Russia to toughen adoption rules for U.S. over Harrison acquittal

15:02 | 18/ 12/ 2008

MOSCOW, December 18 (RIA Novosti) - Russia will toughen adoption requirements for U.S. nationals following the acquittal of Miles Harrison over the death of his adopted Russian-born son, a senior education and social protection official said on Thursday.

Harrison, 49, was acquitted on Wednesday of the involuntary manslaughter of his 21-month-old son Chase (born Dmitry Yakolev), who died of heatstroke after being left in a vehicle in the hot sun for nine hours in front of his adoptive father's workplace in Virginia.

"We are outraged by the court ruling and believe it to be totally unjust and unacceptable," Alina Levitskaya was quoted by the Education and Science Ministry as saying. "It questions the reliability of the U.S. system of protection of adopted children's rights, and will lead to tougher requirements for U.S. nationals in Russia."

Levitskaya said the ministry would demand that authorities in the United States step up monitoring of children adopted from Russia. She said the education ministry and the Russian Embassy in the United States would seek a guilty verdict for Harrison.

"When a tragedy occurs, even if through an involuntary action, a severe punishment should be inevitable," Levitskaya said.

Explaining the ruling, Fairfax County Judge R. Terence Ney said Harrison's conduct did not meet the legal standard for manslaughter, which requires "negligence so gross, wanton and culpable as to show a callous disregard for human life."

"No prison term is going to cause more pain than that which he has already suffered. The only true atonement here can only take place within his heart and soul," the judge said.

Over the last 10 years in the United States there have been approximately 230 fatal cases of parents locking their children in cars on a hot day.

Three adoption agencies, including that which organized Dmitry Yakolev's adoption but failed to inform Russian authorities of the baby's death, were banned from operating in the country in July.

Several calls for tighter controls on adoptions have been made in Russia in recent years over a series of scandals, notably the killing of a two-year-old girl from Siberia by her adoptive mother in the U.S. The woman, Peggy Sue Hilt, was sentenced to 25 years in prison in May 2006 for beating the child to death.

Around 120,000 Russian children were adopted both in Russia and abroad in 2007, a 6.4% increase on 2006, according to the Science and Education Ministry.

LICENSING IN INDIANA

I have written several times to Indiana to find out how an adoption agency is licensed and if there were any complaints against them. I was told that there was no such information about adoption agencies in the state of Indiana by several people.

I am stunned that the adoptees, adoptive families and first families have no one that they could report unscrupulous activity. I wonder if these folks have to do background checks on themselves and their employees.

It is interesting because I read this article about adoption agencies in New Jersey. I am stunned that this is not already in place. These are people who deal in child welfare all the time. They answer to no one.

Here is the story.

WEINBERG/HUTTLE BILL TO REQUIRE BACKGROUND CHECKS FOR ADOPTION AGENCY EMPLOYEES IS NOW LAW

TRENTON – A measure sponsored by Senator Loretta Weinberg and Assemblywoman Valerie Vainieri Huttle, which requires employees of adoption agencies to undergo criminal history background checks and Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) child abuse record checks, has been signed into law by Governor Corzine.

“For children, stability and structure are important to positive growth and development,” said Senator Weinberg, D-Bergen. “When children are put up for adoption, and must move from foster home to foster home in the process, they come in contact with many different people. Through the requirement of these necessary background checks, this new law ensures that all adults that these children come in contact with have their best interest at heart.”

It is vital that we preserve the integrity and safety of our adoption process and our children,” said Assemblywoman Vainieri Huttle, D-Englewood. “Background verification will provide a more secure program which will encourage more people to participate in the adoption process. That will be a welcome result.”

The bill, S-111, requires that all employees of adoption agencies that have been, or are seeking approval by DYFS, to undergo criminal background and child abuse background checks. The offenses that will bar applicants and current employees from working at the agencies include endangering the welfare of a child, abuse, abandonment or neglect, and domestic violence.

According to the bill, adoption agencies established before the bill’s effective date (six months after its signing), will have 60 days to submit employee background checks to the Department of Children and Families (DCF). Agencies established after the bill’s effective date will have to submit employee background checks to the DCF prior to opening. New hires will have to undergo a background check within two weeks of beginning employment, and will not be allowed to be left alone with children until the background check has been approved by the DCF.

Any agency found to be in violation of the bill’s provisions will be suspended and will run the risk of having its license revoked. New agencies seeking licensure from DYFS will have their application refused. Staff members who refuse to undergo the checks will have their employment terminated, the Legislators said.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

ADOPTEE RIGHTS PROTEST PHILLY ANNOUNCEMENT

The Adoptee Rights Demonstration will be held in Philadelphia in 2009. They have a new blog called the Adoptee Rights Demonstration Philly. It will have all the current information for this protest along at the Adoptee Rights Coalition website. So come one and come all. Adoptees stand up for YOU.

Adoptee Rights Demonstration

9 am July 21, 2009

Philadelphia, PA

All Americans, adopted or not, have a right to access government records about their own lives. That’s why we are organizing an Adoptee Rights Demonstration, a rally and protest in Philadelphia, PA, at 9 AM on July 21, 2009. This rally will coincide with the opening day of the Legislative Summit of the National Conference of State Legislators.

Adult adoptees in most of the advanced, industrialized nations of the world have unrestricted access to their original birth records as a matter of right. In contrast, adult adoptees in all but six states in the U.S. are forbidden unrestricted access to their own original birth certificates, due to archaic laws that are a legacy of a culture of shame that stigmatized infertility, out-of-wedlock birth and adoption.

Adult adoptees and their supporters have worked diligently in different states for decades to overturn these laws, but have been opposed by well-funded lobbies representing certain adoption agencies and lawyers who have a vested interest in keeping adoptee records closed. Their unsupported claims that access violates dubious privacy rights or will increase abortions and decrease adoptions have been categorically refuted by data from states with laws recognizing the rights of adoptees, by studies such as the recently published paper from the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, and by court decisions affirming the constitutionality of access laws.

Please join us in Philadelphia as we fight to restore our dignity and equality! If you can’t attend the demonstration, you can still help. Participate in our writing campaign to inform all state legislatures of the urgency of unsealing our records to restore the equality of adoptees in the United States. Help spread the word about the protest on your blog, or to any groups or mailing lists you belong to. And if you can afford it, your donation would be greatly appreciated.

Make a difference, be a part of history and get involved today!

Adoptee Rights Demonstration 2009

Your Rights -- Your Protest

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

SPOKE WITH ANOTHER CI TODAY

It has been an interesting week so far. I have spoken with three of Indiana's confidential intermediaries. Two of them are people that I have known for a few months. I have spoken with them frequently in the past. Its a world of difference between these folks and the woman I spoke with the other night. I care not to repeat that experience. Interestingly enough, I was glancing at the statcounters for this site and IndianaOpen. Someone in the registrar's office was googling her own name from the state computers.

I wonder if that CI thinks that she can shut me and others like me down. Hah, I do not think so. You can't shut me down. We adoptees, first families and adoptive families shall prevail in this. We want control over the adoption records. They belong to us. They have our names on them. Guess what? We are tired of being treated separately under the law. You are giving special immunities and privileges to the adoption agencies with the laws in Indiana. You are violating your own constitution.

Don't worry we will fix that for you. See ya and don't want to be ya.

Wow

I guess I am finally caught up as far as the website is concerned. I made a few other calls today. There is a new confidential intermediary in Indiana. I also want to let folks know that Candy Jones is still very much in operation. So you have two choices in your options. Cheryl Alford and Candy Jones.

I recommend both of them as good people and good searchers.

ADOPTEE RIGHTS DEMONSTRATION



The Adoptee Rights Coalition has announced the next date on the demonstration. It will held on July 21, 2009 in Philadelphia, PA. We will be making further announcements as time moves forward.

I also want to announce that Indiana Open is fully launched and operational.

We have the main page at Indiana Open. We have guestbook and informational/link page to all of the information to help others in writing legislators and newspapers to encourage adoptee access laws.

We have a forum to discuss all of our ideas and thoughts. We hope to get more people to join us on our endeavor in attaining adoptee access.

We also have a blog where we can make announcements concerning our bill, provide announcements for other organizations in other states, and provide more details on the fight itself and how to word letters to our legislators.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

TERMINOLOGY

This article came in Bixby Oklahoma. The first two lines of the article were enough to send me over the edge. The author poses the question, "Who doesn't like to be chosen?" Well in adoption, adoptees are unchosen first then chosen. Its the same as saying that she loved you so much that she gave you up for adoption. Adoptees associate abandonment with love. Its thanks to these kinds of articles.

Here is the story.

Reward for being chosen so very special

Click image to enlarge
Stacey, Roger, and Tyler Collier
BY JO-ANN JENNINGS
News Editor
joj@bixbybulletin.com
Published:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 3:51 PM CST
Everyone wants to be “chosen.” Whether it be for the baseball team, the choir, president of a company, or partner in a firm, being “the one” or “the ones” may be the collective dream of humanity.

Roger and Stacey Collier, Bixby, will never forget the day they were chosen. After eight years of the wish for pregnancy bringing disappointment, and after five and a half months of paperwork, they received their first call to meet a young mother who was looking for parents for her six and a half month old son.

They were interviewed by phone on a Saturday and met Tyler and his birth mother the following day––the day they were chosen.

They talked. They clicked. “You’re the ones,” said Tyler’s birth mother. “Go get him.”

After the long wait of wanting a child, “Going to instant family was a huge adjustment,” said Stacey. “It was surreal.”

Tulsa Crisis Pregnancy Outreach instructs its hopeful parents to at least have a car seat so that if a call comes, and they need to pick up a baby, they’ll be prepared. Roger and Stacey had a crib and a car seat, but after getting the first call from the mother, decided to pull together some other things––like diapers. They knew the birth mother had also interviewed other couples, so they were not the only ones being considered.

“We did a lot of scrambling after he came home,” Stacey said. Once their families had met him and gone home, the couple looked at Tyler and experienced that realization that all young parents feel when they get their baby home for the first time. “What now?”

“It’s much like having a baby,” said Stacey, “but it’s more surreal because there isn’t nine months to prepare.”

Stacey had done one other thing to prepare which really helped when the time came. She stopped working for Family and Children’s Services full-time and started taking contract work.

Now she wants people not to be afraid to talk about adoption and try it.

Stacey said many people know about adoption but not open adoption.

“Even though open adoption sounds scary at first, it isn’t, so at least look into it,” Stacey advises others who want children. “A lot of people don’t look into it because of fear,

and CPO does many adoptions of beautiful babies every year.”

Stacey had heard the stories of others who had said adoption was impossible, that the waiting lists were five years long, but with an open adoption through Tulsa Crisis Pregnancy, it was possible.

Tyler was placed in the Collier home in February; his adoption was finalized in October. Now that everything has been legalized, the Collier’s are going to put together another “Life Book” to hopefully be chosen again, giving Tyler a little brother or sister.

(See Part II, Open Adoption, in this edition.)

CONFIDENTIAL INTERMEDIARIES

I have to go here again. I have spoken with Indiana's four, yes FOUR, confidential intermediaries. I know that there are those who will disagree with me but I got to say it.

I spoke with Lori Baxter a year ago. She was fairly decent to me. Although she doesn't believe in adoptee access, she is a fellow adoptee whose story is similar to mine. Because another adopted family member does not want to be found, she doesn't believe in them for that reason. I have heard good things about her from several folks. She comes off as fair in my mind.

I spoke with Candy Jones in May 2008. She stated that she was a relinquishing mother who was in reunion for many years. She was also a member of Concerned United Birthparents and American Adoption Congress. From what I hear, she is no longer a part of the AAC. This is a woman does believe in adoptee access. She came off very kind and compassionate.

My CI was Catrina Carlisle. Truthfully she is a kind woman. Truthfully, it could be my records that are messed up and not her. When I asked her three years ago how she feels about adoptee access, she said that she supported it. She never once mentioned the "birthmother" privacy. She said that she had to follow the law and the adoption agency's rules.

The last one is who I spoke with last night, Kristen Lucas. I have to say this one at a screaming tone. RUN DO NOT USE THIS WOMAN. I get the strong impression that she hates adoptees and natural parents. This is a woman who needs to step down. She told me that she processes all the court requests for adoptees and first parents in Northern Indiana, Michigan, Illinois, Tennessee, and California. She quoted me the "birthmother" privacy. Now I know one thing with both the court cases in Tennessee and Oregon, there was never a document ever presented proving this privacy issue. That is why the adoption industry is now saying the privacy was presumed. Now I have talked with thousands of natural mothers all over the country. These mothers wanted privacy from the public eye but NOT FROM THEIR CHILDREN. I told her this. She tried to tell me that she has some of the records for Georgia Tann. She tried to tell me that Georgia Tann was still practicing adoption into the sixties. This horrible woman died in 1950. Her adoption agency ended in 1951. She also tried to tell me that there were open adoptions in the 1960s. I know better. Everything was closed even to the adoptive parents. Yet none of those living adoption were really guaranteed privacy. I have a letter from an adoption agency promising both the adoptee and the adoptive parents access to the original birth certificate for any further need at any further time.

She then tried to tell me that adoptees and first parents have major issues with their reunions. It was so bad that it made the news. Gee, I have been researching adoption pretty solid for the last three years. I have yet to find any such story out of Indiana. However what I have heard from those who have used her, that she is the one that causes a majority of the issues that these people face.

Hopefully we will get some more confidential intermediaries soon. Lord knows our choices are dwindling. Maybe we won't need them soon after we get the adoptee rights bill passed.

Monday, December 8, 2008

INTRODUCING INDIANA OPEN'S OFFICIAL WEBSITE

Indiana Open has its own website. Please visit. It has been the hope and dream of Indiana Adoptees, first families, and adoptive families. We have finally gotten off the group. We hope that you like and that you join us in our endeavors to get adoptee and their families access to the original birth certificate.

Here are the important links to visit:

Http://indianaopen.org
http://myforum.indianaopen.org
http://blog.indianaopen.org.

We are still new and upcoming. So please be patient as we clear the dust and get our new hmoe set up.

Friday, December 5, 2008

TOTALLY FLIP OUT OVER AN ARTICLE

The adoption agencies around the country surely want to take advantage of this recession. It is definitely vomitrocious. To read this article, you need a puke bucket. Yes it is that bad. I can not believe that there are people who will take advantage of someone hitting the lows of their lives. It is a frigging press release targeted at women.

Here is the story and the link.

: Financial Hardships Bring Increases in Adoption Requests
Adoptions are on the rise in the U.S. as financial difficulties fall on more single women and families trying to survive without the support of a partner. The loss of jobs, along with cuts to free services to low income families are also affecting requests for adoption help.

“Adoption doesn’t take time off during financially challenging times,” states Mardie Caldwell, Founder of Lifetime Adoption Center. In a recent interview, Caldwell shared that “the first day the stock market took a big downturn in October, our adoption hotline lit up and have not stopped ringing since. Women facing uncertain times are looking at options for unplanned pregnancies and for children they feel they can’t care for. Others are just looking at their dire situations and want a better life for their children. Not only have we seen a tremendous increase in newborns placed for adoption, but parents of toddlers and some older children are seeking out adoption as well.”

There are no longer any orphanages in the U.S. and women today have more options other than abandoning their children or turning them over to the state for foster care. Caldwell states that foster care was never meant to be a permanent home for children. Open adoption is a resource that makes it a win-win situation for all involved in the adoption triad: birth parents, the child, and adoptive parents.

Referrals come in from clinics, doctors, and Internet sites that refer birthmothers to Lifetime for adoption services. Caldwell has been assisting in domestic adoptions since 1986 and is an adoptive mother herself.

Recently, a 24 year old mother from Northern California called in on one of Caldwell’s adoption hotlines, inquiring about the steps to adoption. She wanted to find adoptive parents for her two year old son and six month old daughter after their father abandoned them eight months ago. Losing her job was the final blow.

It isn’t that the women calling about adoption don’t love their children. In fact, it is just the opposite. They love their children deeply and don’t want to see them suffer in poverty. Birth mothers call Lifetime Adoption’s hotlines to ask questions, find out what their options are, seek support, request counseling, identify legal referrals, and just to get the help they need and want. These calls come in from across the country and even from here in Nevada County.

With most everyone facing some of the effects of the financial crisis, grandparents are even joining in the selection of adoptive parents, gaining confidence that they can stay in contact with the children.

“With state and county social services programs being cut throughout the country,” Caldwell said, “we are working hard to pick up the slack. We are now sending out more than just adoption material to hurting families and pregnant women in need. We have a modest food closet that allows us to send non-perishable items, toiletries, clothes, household items and even holiday gifts. The requests have increased, with food closets in many towns facing shortages. When we have experienced similar mini-recessions in the past, we have always seen increases in calls and adoptions. But this time, we are experiencing a much greater volume of calls each week. We are now serving double the number of clients than we were just three months ago. Currently we are actively providing services for over 320 women, often including their children.”

Caldwell has been on the road promoting National Adoption Awareness month this November. She released a new book in November, So I Was Thinking About Adoption, a guide for women facing an unplanned pregnancy or considering adoption for an older child. “The response has been tremendous for the book! Many places, from family planning clinics to churches are ordering the little books to help women they come in contact with.”

The challenge now is to continue helping women, knowing that adoption may not be the right answer to all inquires. “Morally we need to help them at their place of need and answer their questions as they determine their options at this difficult time,” says Caldwell.

If interested in learning more about adoption, the 24 hour adoption answer line is 1-800-9-ADOPT-4.

Lifetime Adoption

Phone : 530-432-7373
Fax : 530 432-7379

Open Adoption and the trick of it.

I spoke with a fellow adoptee recently. She mentioned that all adoptions today are basically open adoptions. I am discussing domestic adoptions. I find it ironic that these agencies know the mothers want open adoptions but yet they fight so hard to keep the records closed of prior generations. Why is it okay for them but not for us? That is also discrimination.

The legislators worry about increases in abortion. Yet these women for the most part are way past child bearing years. These retroactive laws have no bearing on adoption what so ever. The adoptions have already been done.

It is all a matter of keeping the myths alive. Its a matter of keeping our voices separated and not in unison. Well as the adoptive parents of today start speaking out about corruption in their adoptions, the more and more we all join together. All of our voices will soon outweigh that of the adoption industry.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

SAY WHAT??????!!!!!!!?????

You would rather the children of gay parents be taken away and live in the foster care system than be with those gay parents. Have you lost your mind? Talk about cruelty to others. Shame on you. This case is about a man adopting his two half brothers. Give me a freaking break.

Here is the story and the link.

Preachers protest adoption ruling
Conservative preachers upheld stereotypes that were refuted in trial
By JUAN CARLOS RODRIGUEZ, South Florida Blade | Dec 4, 2:11 PM

A group of conservative preachers representing the Christian Coalition said they support removing adopted children of gay parents from stable homes, rather than let a ruling stand that overturns the Florida’s anti-gay adoption law.

The group, led by Rev. Paul Carbalho, held a press conference at the Wayside Baptist Church in Kendall Wednesday to protest Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman’s ruling that favored Frank Martin Gill, a gay man from North Miami who petitioned to adopt two half brothers he fostered since 2004.

In a 53-page decision, Lederman said that there is no rational basis for the 30-year-old law, known to be the most restrictive adoption law in the nation.

The Florida Attorney General’s office filed notice to appeal Lederman’s ruling.

Carbalho was joined by the leaders of three other churches including Nathaniel Wilcox, among the most vociferous anti-gay agitators in Miami-Dade County.

“We would like the adoption law to stay in position,” Carbalho said. “We don’t want to experiment with children, and [Gill’s family] is an experimental family.”

In support of their position, the conservative preachers upheld many of the same homophobic stereotypes that were refuted in the trial, including suggestions that gay people are likely to be pedophiles.

When asked whether the group supported removing Gill’s children from his home, Carbalho said that he would support placing them in the homes of straight parents regardless of the fact that Lederman and eight expert witnesses from across the nation agreed that it was in the children’s best interest to remain with Gill.

The appeal has yet to be assigned a judge or a trial according to the clerk of Florida’s Third Court of Appeal in Miami.

BUYER BEWARE

All of these adoption agencies need to be alert. Adoptees, natural parents and adoptive parents are beginning to come together. We are speaking out against the atrocities of the adoption industry. We will not be silenced any further. We are DEMANDING TRANSPARENCY IN ADOPTION. WE WILL NO LONGER BE LIED, DECEIVED OR ROBBED.

Here is the blog post link and the story.

Yep that is right. I just can't resist when I read a new article on some adoption agency that is being slammed by adoptive parents. The author of it does a very good expose on it. One of the comments that I found horrifying was the following:

"The adoption agency's e-mailed response admonished Harmoning for breaching contract, warning her that because of her "anger," that, "there may be some extra steps warranted before completing this adoption."

CCI's contract also allowed the agency to request extra measures at its discretion, such as parenting classes and psychological evaluations."

What I am finding with adoptive parent today is that they are wanting more transparency in the transaction concerning adoption of any kind. There is no specifics on the issue. I am also hearing that more and more adoptive parents want to control the information within adoption to belong to the triad itself. They do not want it at the control of neither the state nor the agency.

That is puzzling and alarming it itself. I remember reading over at Adoption Under One Roof this particular article. I am quoting their questions and red flag warnings on adoption agencies. It is a good indication in choosing a good adoption agency.

"1. They make promises that sound too good to be true. For example, promising that your child will be home in record time.
2. They want all the money up front; you don’t receive receipts for payments.
3. They don’t explain the adoption process in detail and you just have to figure it out for yourself.
4. They have gag clauses in the contract, or there is no contract.
5. They are wonderful when you first call, but once you’ve signed on it is hard to get hold of them.
6. When there are problems in the international adoption scene they start avoiding your calls.
7. There is constant staff turnover at the agency.
13. They don’t turn away applications even when they don’t have the staff to handle them.
14. They continue giving referrals for certain countries when it is no longer advisable to do so.
15. They don’t train their staff well.
18. They are ignorant of the culture and politics of the country you are adopting from.
19. They are disrespectful, unpleasant and impatient."

I printed down Celebrate Children International's contract. I wanted to read it myself. I also reviewed their 2006 IRS Form 990 and their website. Its amazing the amount of information that you can gleam off both of those sites. I usually use Guidestar for the tax forms. There is a free membership so anyone can join and use this information. According to the article above, the adoption agency lost their COA accreditation in May. They are no longer accepting applications from China or Guatemala. Guatemala is of course closed at this time. Unfortunately the state of Florida does not recognize COA's accreditation's process. If this were so, then the adoption agency would be shut down. They would not be allowed to operate.

Here are some rules in their contract that bother me. They are red flag warnings to all adoptive parents.
  1. The first part of the Adopting Parents obligations portion of the contract is number one. Adoptive parent understands that if the adoptive parent decides at any time during the adoption process to discontinue the adoption process, no refund of fees will be given and any fees that have been invoiced and not paid are still the responsibility of the adoptive parent. Nice isn't? They screw over and it is still your fault. These kind of clauses are there to protect them not you. It must be remembered that according to the adoption industry it is about them. These agencies do not look out for YOUR best interests.
  2. This is the number five portion of that same contract. Complete required ten hours or more of parent preparation according to the specific instruction and materials provided by the adoption agency, CCI, independent of preparaton provided during homestudy process. If an adoptive parent does not complete this to their satisfaction, it is a breach of contract. This is the start of the abuse of an adoption agency. This is a red flag warning for you.
  3. The next red flag is on number twelve of the contract. This is another area where they consider you the adoptive parent incapable of handling your own affairs. You can't make contact with the foreign government without their permission. So if you wanted to find what the heck was going on with your adoption, guess what? That is considered a breach of contract. The actual reading of it is this: Contact foreign government , orphanage officials, overseas facilitators and/or any other in-country individual or entity pertaining to your adoption process or the child you are adopting, lincluding but not limited to: medical personnel, foster families, lawyers, and social workers, only with the assistance and/or explicit written permission of CCI.
  4. The last red flag in their contract is the additional requirements which is number 14 on their contract. So they can continue to burn you if you have made them angry at any time. In addition to the one post placement, CCI may require additional home visits by a social worker, further evaluation by a social worker, pyschological evaluations, additional post placements, or any other measures deemed necessary at our discretion, at any time, before, during or after the adoption process if finalized. Furthermore, CCI has the authority to request further measures deemed necessary for CCI to initially approve or to continue to process the adoptive parent's case. The adoptive parent will be responsible for any costs incurred to these measures and/or additional visits/post-placement reports. Can you hear the bells ringing on this one? DING DING DING

Here is the information from their tax form:

Revenue monies earned: $4,570,558.
Adoption fees charged: $4,456,392.
Operating expenses: $496,338.
Susan Hedberg, Director and wife to the President of the organization, earned $269,419.
David Hedberg, Director, husband to Susan, and President of the organization.
Teresa Brown, Treasurer, earned $2,738.

Humanitarian aid was $56,968.
Donations to various organizations were $16,945.

According to their tax forms, they did not list any tax forms. What were their salaries? Even Gladney lists their top paid employees and contractors. Their agency is only a little bigger than this one. According to their website, they have several:

Angela Vance is the Assistant to the Director.
John S. Mischuck is the Staff Accountant.
Sara Eisenbart is the Haiti Program Coordinator.
Lara Carson is the Ukraine Program Director.
Carmen Lopez Cepero is their Humanitarian Aid Coordinator.
Jennifer Crist is the Assistant to the Humanitarian Aid Coordinator. I wonder if she is related to Governor Crist. Enquiring minds and all.
Tammy G. is the Kazakhstan Program Director. Interesting that she doesn't list her full name.

The various attorneys for readoption once entering the United States are done through the following attorneys.

Readoption in Orlando done through Don Meyers

Readoption throughout Florida with Jeanne Tate. This is a woman that you as an adoptive parent should run from. She violates the rights of many a natural parent consistently. She is know throughout the adoption underground movement as one of the terrible threes. The other two are Michael Shorstein and Patricia Stowbridge. Michael Shorstein guarantees all of his natural mothers will relinquish. He has a tendancy to stalk the hospitals looking for single mothers to target. He says he guarantees contact between the natural mothers and adoptive parents for up to five years but does not follow through with that kind of contact.

Readoption for Southern Florida done through Maryann Scherer.

Readoption for South Carolina done through Frederick M. Corley. He is associated with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. This is an automatic run for your life. You can probably smell the corruption.

Readoption for Mississippi done through Kim M. Haney.

This agency operates in Ethiopia, Haiti, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, and Taiwan.

One last stop in this little post is of course Adoption Agency Ratings. It is one of those highly commented on adoption agencies.

Here are some of the comments from people. I have removed the names to protect them.

Commenter #1

Anyone that has gone through an international adoption knows the process is really, really hard! Your patience is tested, your faith is tested, and sometimes during the process you wonder if it's all worth it.
My daughter is home, so I can say with complete certainty it is worth the wait, frustration and tears.

BUT, and this is a BIG BUT - SUE HEDBERG singlehandedly made our adoption process absolutely miserable!
I honestly think she gets a rise out of intimidating AP's and using her scare tactics to bully us into shutting up.
From referral to homecoming our adoption took about one year. Long, yes, but not as long as many other people.
It was sad to lose some extra months with our child, but what hurt the most was being lied to, belittled and threatened.

Long story short. We supposedly had one of her best attorney's. The first steps of our adoption went just fine (PA, Family court, 1st submission to PGN.) Once in PGN nothing was as CCI told me. I was told of 3 PGN kickouts, give submit dates and kickout dates, given specific reasons for the kickouts, etc.
I TRUSTED CCI for many months because they told me too and I really, really wanted to. But finally the third time something felt really wrong. I started asking questions about things that weren't making sense to me and Sue tried to shove me off. I called PGN to see if my intuition was right, thinking they'd prove me wrong and I'd go on trusting CCI. Well, I called PGN and they had NO record of our file for nearly 5 months!!!!!
I immediately started pushing for information, boldly told Sue I called PGN myself and she told me I was in breech of contract. This was one of her many attempts to scare me.

I hired adoption supervisors (who were great, by the way) and they checked on the case the very same day I agreed to work with them, before I even sent them a penny. They confirmed that our file was in fact kicked out of PGN and had never been resubmitted.
I had to fight like hell to get Sue to do anything and I was for a time scared to death that she would do something to jeoparadize our adoption and our daughter would suddenly be no longer available. Fortunately it didn't work that way.
Once Sue decided to actually check on our file, we showed up in PGN almost immediately, within a day or two. Again, adoption supervisors confirmed this as did the PGN when I called. Miraculously, we came out of PGN approved in about 2 weeks.
After getting out of PGN I really didn't have to deal with Sue any more, thank God, and the final steps of our adoption went on just fine.

I AM CERTAIN and have PROOF that Sue Hedberg intentionally lied to me on more than one occasion.
What I am not certain about is why our file was KO'd for so long, how we got back in so quickly and how we came out approved in near record time.
I could probably do some more digging to find out some of the truths, but it doesn't really change anything so I may let it be. We'll just have to see what comes up!

Commenter #2

I wish I could give this agency ZERO stars- they are AWFUL! Sue Hedberg, the agency's director is cruel and dishonest. She claims to be Christian but treats her clients in far less than a Christian manner. Our adoption took 3 times as long as she suggested, and 90% of the information we got along the way was faulty and inaccurate. Our case manager told us private information and badmouthed other clients (so did Sue), and both of them reprimanded us for politely asking for the truth about our case. Celebrate Children International and Sue Hedberg are unprofessional, deceitful, and not at all compassionate. Beware.

Commenter #3

I chose Celebrate Children after months of agency research. All of my initial emails were answered promptly and in great detail. They also represented themselves as Christian individuals. I felt confident that Sue and her staff were compassionate, caring people who truly loved the children of Guatemala (and other Countries) and wanted nothing more than to see them united with their forever families. I was prepared for the ups and downs of international adoption and the many unknowns, but I was not at all prepared for the emotional abuse this agency would cause so many families entrusting them to make their dreams comes true. I prepared my dossier with little to no help from my case manager, receiving no responses to my many questions. When I became paper ready and received my referral it was told that we were represented by "one of the best in country contacts" over the next few months it became clear that everybody was represented by "one of the best". I was told that in the next 6 months I would be receiving the call to pick-up my new child. In the beginning things moved quickly and within a short time (3 months) I had DNA, exited Family Court and received Pre-Approval from the U.S Embassy. I was then submitted to PGN and kicked-out several times over the several months for errors. The weekly updates I was promised never came, my emails were either replied with two worded answers or not at all. I began to feel as if I was bothering my case manager and contact between me and this agency was gone. I had to take charge of my case. So many children celebrating their first birthday's in Guatemala, coming home a walking, talking toddler. Many families have had to hire outside help in order to complete their adoptions. Sue is well known in Guatemala, but not for her caring heart. She is a bully who abuses her families emotionally and financially. You quickly learn to remain silent if you want your child home. To many questions will result in the threat of a lost referral. If you become upset she will require a pyshological evaluation claiming you are an unfit parent. Her yahoo group is not there for support but rather a way to monitor her families. If you say something in any way contradictory to her you will be banned. Chats are often used to gossip and personal information is shared about non- participating families. If the tone becomes negative, Sue will share stories about famillies who have lost referrals or children that have died. Stating we should be happy we still have a referral. Celebrate Children was one of the last agenies to continue handing out referrals up until the very end. Many Power of Attorney's were signed the last couple weeks of December, but little information was shared with the families about the risks involved. I do feel that long ago Sue must have cared for these children, but somewhere between her office and the bank it was lost. I do not want to see any other families fall victim to this agency. Adoption is supposed to be a beautiful experience, but using Celebrate Children will take away from that and cause you a lifetime of pain.

Commenter#4

This agency is by far one of the worst I've ever dealt with. We were put through pure hell and one week before we were to adopt we were told China rejected us. The people working there claim to be christian but I saw anything but christianity. Stay away from this agency; it's about the money. They also lied to my wife and I continually. I don't know how they can sleep at night. Shame on Celebrate Children.

There are many more comments about this agency being a very bad one. I can tell all of the adoptive parents to do as others are beginning to do. File a civil RICO case against them Join Adoption Agency Abuse for further help. Also Join PEAR. These folks will help you to get back on the right track for your adoption.