BLOGGER BLITZ FOR MOTHERS AND FATHERS

I have been waiting for the go ahead on this from one of the leaders in OriginsUSA. Its a blogger blitz for Stephanie and Evelyn Bennett. I am also doing it for Allison Quets, Jamie Kiefer, Cody O'Dea, Joshua, Ibaanika, and Bryn. I am telling you now that we must never shut up until these folks have received JUSTICE. I may appear angry and bitter. Its the industry that has created this inside me. Its their consistent violation of our civil rights that infuriates me to no end. Yes it is also the adopters who constantly create the demand for children that adds fuel to this out of control fire. It is you that are also very culpable in this situation. You have the power to change things. Why do you allow the ignorance to continue? Why do allow them to violate the rights of the children you so desparately desire? Would you want your rights violated in the same manner as the ladies and gentlemen that I have mentioned?

Stephanie and Evelyn Bennett's story can be found here. Sadly this story has not been ended. It drags on courtesy of the courts, the adoption agency and the entitled adopters. No one understands that hearts are being broken and lives destroyed all for the sake of a buck. Yes it is for the sake of a dollar. This is courtesy of Sandy ~ the Musing Mother.

In April of 2007, Stephanie had a hearing in the Probate Court, and awaited the findings of the court. The agency said that was the court that would be the correct court for the hearing, and the attorney that Stephanie had at the time didn’t fight it. That court has YET to rule. In the meantime the Bennetts hired a new attorney to represent them. The new attorney who was familiar with Adoption Law, as their previous attorney was not, said that since both Stephanie and Evelyn were minors, the court with jurisdiction would actually be the Juvenile Court. On May 22, 2007 they appeared in Juvenile Court. Stephanie’s attorney came away from that hearing in very bad spirits, since it seemed that the Agency’s attorney, who is also married to one of the sisters who run the agency, was very friendly with the judge. She left shortly after the hearing to go on vacation with her family, and was using her down time to plan the appeal that she was almost certain would follow on her return. She returned to her office from vacation and found the judge’s ruling (attached) and was very heartened to find that it seemed that the judge was strongly on the side of Stephanie, and indicated that she would a) allow the results of the polygraph examination that Stephanie was required to take in to the court, not as evidence but as testimony, and b) that Stephanie had been used badly by the system and she was sensitive to the loss she had experienced. She ordered an Evidentiary Hearing be held forthwith, on the validity of the Mother’s consent. And, they waited, through the rest of May, all of June, all of July and into August. Stephanie’s attorney called and tried to set dates for the Evidentiary Hearing, but always something came up, another case, a vacation, a full docket, always something. Procedurally, the agency’s attorney should have filed an appeal if they were not happy with the judge’s ruling. Instead, they filed a motion for the judge to vacate her own order! With no hearing, no in-chamber meeting, nothing. Just out of the blue, or over a cocktail with the agency’s attorney, or hitting balls on the golf course, the judge decided that she wasn’t the appropriate court, despite what she found in her ruling, and no one bothered to tell Stephanie’s Attorney!!! So, they wait for the Probate Court ruling, which STILL has not been made, and it is now over 4 months ago!! During the time that they waited, the police stepped in and did a DNA of the putative father who voluntarily went into give it. They also agreed that the umbilical cord of Evelyn’s would be okay for a sample of DNA. However, since it is the police that are doing it, and it is for a criminal case, it takes longer than if it were paid for. So, it still hasn’t come back yet. It should be back very soon. In order to get the police interested, Stephanie had to undergo a polygraph which she passed with flying colors. The test was administered by the police department, but it was reviewed and analyzed by not one, but three separate experts who all were in agreement that Stephanie had told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. In the meantime, Judy Bennett, Stephanie’s mother, got word from a “reliable source” that the Attorney General’s office is conducting an investigation of the agency, A Child’s Waiting. Judy called the AG’s office to find out if it is true, and was told that they could not give out information about current investigations, but that if it is so and the AG’s office is investigating, that not only will the agency lose its license, someone will go to jail. The Pap’s have left the state, and their whereabouts are unknown at this time. They know exactly what is going on, they know all the facts of the case, and yet, they still continue to keep this child, this precious infant, from her mother, and the family that loves her, and Stephanie, the mother, is left in a Hellish Limbo of Unknowing! She can’t talk about anything, she can’t do anything, even go to visit her cousin in the event that a hearing will be held and she will get her baby back. She is about to enter her Senior year in High School, a time when she should be worrying about her back-to-school wardrobe, planning her Prom, as an athlete, practicing her basketball moves, and checking out her possible college choices. Instead, she has been thru an ordeal that would, and HAS, broken many older, more sophisticated women. How long can this torture endure? How long can this teenage mother hold out against the machine that is eating her and her infant alive? She has been abused by the father of her child, by the system, by the agency, by the School Counselor, by the courts, and by the law that is supposed to protect her. Someone surely should pay for this abuse! Someone should be outraged at the continuation of this travesty and tragedy!! Someone needs to stop it, now. I am counting on the bloggers. I hope that when you read this you will be as outraged and as furious as I was at the treatment that this young woman has received at the hands of the unscrupulous and unethical agency and courts. Please write about this and make it abundantly clear how you feel.

Allison Quets' Story is another of adoption attorneys out of control. I will absolutely never shut up about her. They have stolen her children and her life. They have put her in jail as a result. They held her ransom in their offices for 11 hours without any respite. She had to call the police to help her. They have tried to make her out to be the bad guy. She is not. The Needhams were never held accountable for not allowing Allison to see her children during COURT ORDERED VISITATION. Its been suggested that Allison wanted money from the Needhams. NO I was wrong about that. It was suggested by the Demonic Patricia Stowbridge, adoption attorney, that she could recoup her expenses this way in order to lure Allison by plying her with money. Funny how the attorneys have made her look to be the evil one? How much money did they receive from the Needhams and other adoptive families? All for the sake of PRODUCT.

Of course there is Joshua, Cody, and Bryn. All from different states. All denied their rights because of one particular adoption agency. The Adoption Center of Choice. Remember them? One is from Georgia. One is from Indiana. One is from Wyoming. Did you know that this agency was actually banned from Illinois? Oh yes they were. Here is one link. Hopefully we will have news on Cody's case soon. Hopefully he gets custody of his child soon.

How many people have we not heard from? How many is going to take to get people to listen? ADOPTION IS NOT WIN/WIN/WIN when the rights of those living it have been consistently violated. ITS TIME TO STAND UP AND PAY ATTENTION TO ALL THESE STORIES. Would you want your children taken from you if you had fallen on bad times or if you didn't know the law? Its happening all over the world. Do you want your child to find out that they were wanted by their parents? That their parents fought for them? That you fought their parents for custody? With the help of the internet and folks like me, they will find out. Are you ready?

By the way, for all the agencies and attorneys that do troll the blogs, you might want to attend this event in Virginia. You obviously need to learn ethics badly.The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and Ethica, Inc.Adoption Ethics and Accountability ConferenceOctober 15-16, 2007Arlington, VirginiaConference Brochure Now Available The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and Ethica, Inc. are co-sponsoring an exciting and timely conference, Adoption Ethics and Accountability, in Arlington, VA. This is the second conference hosted by the Adoption Institute that focuses on critical ethical issues in the field today.Join us as we explore ethical issues in adoption with adoption experts and members of the adoption community. Conference participants will have the opportunity to attend panel discussions and workshops focusing on a variety of issues including birthfamily rights, transracial adoption, birthfamily and records searches, industry regulation, and best practices.Dates: Monday/Tuesday - October 15-16, 2007Fee: $325 full conference registration ($162 one day)Location: Marriott Crystal Gateway1700 Jefferson Davis Highway,Arlington , VA1-800-228-9290 or 703-920-3230When making your hotel reservation, reference Adoption Ethics Conference to get your reduced rate:$179 for single/double; $189 for triple and $209 for quad.Book now - Rates are normally $269 to $329 and higher.If you are interested in sharing a room with another conference attendee, please contact kjohnson@adoptioninstitute.org. We will provide your name and email address to those interested; however, you are responsible for making your own payment and accommodation arrangements.For more information, please contact Mari Cochran at 617.680.0808.

JUST CURIOUS ~ FOR NATURAL MOMS

I was on instant messenger with a natural mother out of Indiana. She is a mother from the maternity home in Fort Wayne. She is a couple years younger than my own natural mother. She suffered just as badly at the hands of the maternity home as did the mothers of Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers. It ended up hurting herself in the long run. She kept it in. Now she is screaming it to the world. She has decided that she can't keep it secret any longer. I am one that is proud of her. Oh so proud of her. I hope in time that her daughter will be as well.

I asked her the usual questions. Abuse of natural mothers was prevalent back in those days. One natural mother friend of mine said that they called all of the breeders amongst other things. Things I too have been called by people in my life. After digging into a little history about women and their sexuality, I have learned that white women were whores who could be rehabilitated and black women were forever blamed for their race's poverty. Tough things to deal with. Add one factor that isn't as bad as it was back then. It is still a factor for some women. A woman's parents. Me personally I can't stand my natural mother's parents. For that matter, I absolutely hate the doctor that suggested that my natural mother go to Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers. I wonder how the women from the BSE (forever known as the Baby Scoop Era) can even talk to their parents. Their parents pushed them into these homes.

I have poked questions with my own adoptive mother. I know that there is no way in hell that she would let any grandchild of hers leave the sanctity of the family. I wonder how my own natural grandparents did that to her. I know it was standard practice. It just pisses me off to no extent. How could any person hurt their own child and their own grandchild? I couldn't do that. How do our natural mothers deal with this? This woman that I spoke with felt that her parents didn't deserve to know her daughter. So she waited to search until her mother was deceased. I wonder if that is what my own natural mother is doing. Is she waiting until her mother dies to get to know me? Time will tell.

INDIANA NEWS

I read this article today. The comments are absolutely horrifying. We as a group of adoptees, natural and adoptive parents have a lot of work to do. I can't believe the negativity of some people. I will post the article and link to the article as well. It is always men who decide how and when a woman can get pregnant. How and when she can and receive help. It sometimes never ceases to amaze me. Can anyone tell me if Indiana is a abstinence state or not? I wish women and children had automony of their own. Sadly our society will never allow that to happen until changes are made.

A federal court judge today lifted a 1992 order imposed in response to a lawsuit alleging child welfare workers in Marion County had failed to provide minimal services to abused, neglected and other children and their families.
U.S. District Court Judge John Tinder agreed to dismiss the consent decree after receiving assurances that the Indiana Department of Child Services has made progress in addressing deficiencies in the system.
The department administers child support, child protection, adoption and foster case throughout the state.It has taken a number of steps in recent years to fix its problems, including hiring hundreds of additional family case managers and expanding training.The Indiana Civil Liberties Union filed the lawsuit in 1989 on behalf of wards of Marion County and their parents.Under the consent decree, improvements in training for supervisors and caseworkers were required. Today, according to the Daniels administration, the department exceeds the stipulations established by the consent decree.A federal court judge today lifted a 1992 order imposed in response to a lawsuit alleging child welfare workers had failed to provide minimal services to abused, neglected and other children and their families.U.S. District Court Judge John Tinder agreed to dismiss the consent decree after receiving assurances that the Indiana Department of Child Services has made progress in addressing deficiencies in the system.The department administers child support, child protection, adoption and foster case throughout the state.It has taken a number of steps in recent years to fix its problems, including hiring hundreds of additional family case managers and expanding training.The Indiana Civil Liberties Union filed the lawsuit in 1989 because the state’s “crushing caseloads and inadequate standards” had left children injured or dead in Marion County — the state’s most populous county.Under the consent decree, improvements in training for supervisors and caseworkers were required. Today, according to the Mitch Daniels administration, the department exceeds the stipulations established by the consent decree.“Obviously the system is not perfect, but it’s clear that the state is working to correct all of the problems that gave rise to this case,” said Ken Falk, legal director of the ICLU.Susan Tielking, a spokeswoman for child services, said about 60,000 allegations involving abuse or neglect of children are made each year in Indiana, and about a third of those cases are substantiated.Currently, about 2,300 children in Marion County are involved in the child welfare system, she said.Tielking said that over the past two years, the agency had hired 400 additional child welfare caseworkers and is expected to have hired an additional 400 caseworkers by next July. Those additions will boost to about 1,600 the number of state caseworkers, she said.

KELLY PICKLER'S SONG " I WONDER"

From what I understand, Kelly Pickler was raised by her grandmother. I listened to the whole album today. See I live in red dirt country. I am like my husband in the sense that I like the older country. This new stuff is just too different for me. When I listen to country, I expect broken hearts, cheating, and so forth. When I listen to rock, I again listen to the older stuff. Gag I can't believe I am saying that. Stuff like Rush, Van Halen, Styx, and so forth. The first time I heard this song. It stopped me. It brought me to tears. After to listening to her album, I am kinda surprised why it isn't more popular. I think I get it though. It is too country maybe. Here are the lyrics to the song. Thank you Kelly for putting out this song. It is an adoptee's song from hell. I mean that in a good way. You put my feelings and deepest emotions into words. You actually did better that Joy and Addie.

I Wonder Sung
by Kelly Pickler

Sometimes I think about you
Wonder if you are out there
Somewhere thinking about me.
And would you even recognize
The woman that your little girl has grown up to be
Cause I look in the mirror
All I see are your brown eyes looking back at me
They are the only thing you ever gave to me at all

Chorus:

Oh I hear the weather's nice in California
There sunny skies as far as I can see
If you ever come back to home to Carolina
I wonder what you would say to me.

I think about how it ain't fair
That you weren't there to braid my hair
Like mothers do
You weren't around to cheer me on
Help me dress for my school prom
Like mothers do
Did you think that I didn't need you here
To hold my hand
Dry my tears
Did you even miss me
Through the years at all

Chorus

Forgiveness such a simple word
But its so hard to do
When you've been hurt

Chorus

Just in case
You are wondering about me
From now on I won't be in Carolina
Your little girl is off
Your little girl is off
Your little girl is off to Tennesee.

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

Since Catholic Charities now owns Coleman and they are merged into one agency, it is only fair to bring up some of the secretive issues that the Catholic Church has. Recently another diocese lost a case against hundreds of victims of sexual abuse. The article is very interesting and can be found here. The Church's secrets will not be secret very much longer. Does the rest of America realize that they keep family members apart?

STEVEN LITZ: INDIANA SURROGACY MAKES BIG BUCKS

In the Indy Star, a series of articles came out about surrogacy. It showed the very sticky complications of it. This surrogate pregnancy was started by a 60 year old gay man with a bird and bird poop on his shoulder. Those were the claims that upset hospital workers. I don't care if someone is gay nor do I care about his bird or its health issues. I have animals so I do understand. Its the 60 year old part that I don't understand. He also drove the twins back by himself to New Jersey. Yes there is a lot of ewww in this story.

Steven Litz and his company procured the eggs from the woman and had them inseminated by a combination of donor sperm and the 60 year old's sperm. It ended up that the donor sperm took. So the man had to adopt the twins. The case was pushed through very quickly. Now his company states that there has not been any complaints against him. He has also not had a woman change her mind about keeping the children. This is all of course on his website. Funny thing is I found this little bit of information. So does this man lie? I think so. He is just another sleezy attorney looking to make a buck off women and children. Of course that case too was concerning 60 plus couple. Makes you really wonder about his ethics on for sides.

Its funny an Indiana State Senator sponsored a bill to put an end to this kind of legal bull. In both good and bad respects, it did not pass. She did this in response to the above mentioned case.

My question is when will the adoption industry quit having control over Indiana? When will they start listening to the adoptees born in their state? When will they listen to the natural parents?

COLEMAN MOTHERS WHERE ARE YOU?

I was in the Coleman Home in Indianapolis, In. I was 16 yrs old on the day my daughter was born. I was told--you're too young to love this baby--you WILL forget--IT will be called a bastard if you keep it--no decent man will marry you-- just forget it ever happened, don't speak of it again.
You're a slut and a bad girl and you have to give the baby up, you don't deserve her after what you did. She needs 2 parents--we guarantee they will be just perfect. Yes, I was brainwashed to believe all of this.
I should have had counseling and should have been able to make my own choice. I shouldn't have suffered all those years from the lies I was told. We were like breeding cattle, our feelings didn't matter. We were left alone to labor and were told, see what happened to you because of what you did. Then arms and legs strapped down and then knocked out so you wouldn't see the baby. I had to beg to even find out it was a girl. What a price to pay to go through the birth and not even see the baby. To be all alone and wonder if ashe was alright. To wonder and wonder and cry and cry, to suffer each birthday, to have such empty arms, to grow up over night and not be the girl you used to be. To wonder why you never forgot the way they told you you would.
ALL of us were lied to. No one should be ashamed. I think we were treated just one step below a murderer. We commeted the unpardonable sin. It took me years to overcome this. By talking to other Moms I finally found out we ARE good people who just made a mistake. I, however, have never heard from another Coleman Mom who has had the guts to stand up for herself now. I just can't imagine I am the only one. I am asking you to contact us on this site or email me at barnesm@rtcol.com .
I also asking Amy's mother to please stand up and be proud of your daughter, she wasn't a mistake, she is a beautiful person. Don't think any other children will be ashamed of you. What they would be is disapointed that you have lied to them all these years. She will find you one day for sure and if then you are gone you won't be able to tell your story to your family in your own words. Please acknowledge her and make her pain go away, you are denying yourself and your family so much!!
Coleman Moms, please speak up. don't let their brainwashing last all these years. We owe our children to know they were loved and where they came from. We need to TELL abt the hell we went thro. Giving us no choice and taking these babies from us and urging us to be ashamed and hide it from the world. Help us all to contact each other and talk about what we went through. I am hoping desparately to hear from any of you!! Janice Barnes