Demons In Adoption

For those who have not voted yet, there is still time for you to vote on Pound Pup Legacy for the Demons in Adoption Awards. The list is mighty impressive as it is every year. You can vote here today. My favorite is LDS Family Services for what they have done to a family here in my local.

Each year Pound Pup Legacy presents the Demons of Adoption Award to raise a voice against adoption propaganda and the self congratulatory practices of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute's annual Angels in Adoption Awards^TM

Until October 30 you will have the opportunity to vote for the recipient of this year's award.

The nominees are:

• Adoptions First for offering of a free birth mothers package;
• Athanasios Kollias aka Teo for the involvement in various Guatemalan child trafficking cases;
• Barnardos for promoting the removal of children and have them adopted as the solution to family breakdown;
• Bethany Christian Services for using coercive tactics obtaining infants for their customers;
• Deborra-Lee Furness for pushing laxer regulations in inter-country adoption;
• Harry and Bertha Holt for starting the placement of "special needs children" who are truly not adoptable, into the homes of already huge families;
• Independent Adoption Center for plugging their business on WE tv's Adoption Diaries, making them the non-denominational Bethany;
• Joint Council on International Children's Services for supporting temporary movement of foreign children to America because such trial-basis "exchange" programs "help" the adoption process;
• LDS Family Services for using coercive tactics in obtaining infants for adoption and for not respecting paternal rights;
• Scott and Karen Banks for child trafficking, coercive adoption practices and the abandonment of their adopted children;
• The Dutch Ministry of Justice for preventing research into corrupt adoption practices in China, because of diplomatic and business relations with that country;
• The Malawi Government for allowing Madonna to adopt Mercy James;

DISCONCERNING NEWS

Adoption scares me. Really it scares me. When I began my search, I honestly didn't think about really researching adoption as a political subject. Now I look at it in a whole another light. I have to wonder why the women and men groups are not more concerned. Are we really so concerned with the concept of "free love? Are we really concerned about morality? Does it really matter if women and men have options? I read recently about the Virginia putative father registry. The men responding in it were more concerned with their rights to procreate than being fathers. They viewed it as a way for women to get child support. Oh Lord if it were just that simple! I want to scream at them that its a way to deny you the right to raise your child. We want people to be responsible for sex but we are quick, too quick, to deny them the right to parent their own child. Our society, thanks to the likes of Madonna and Angelina Jolie, has gotten to the point where they think that they are entitled to other people's children. Just look at the Stephanie Bennett Case, Cody O'Dea, Allison Quets, Joshua, Bryn, Jamie Keifer, Rashad Head, Ibaanika, and many others. These are the ones that have made public news. How many do we not hear about? How many men and women are devastated by adoption? I am not even including adoptees. We are the ones that have to live with adoption. We are the ones who have their identity stolen from them.

I haven't touched on this story because it is in the United Kingdom. I hope that we never get to that point. Sadly we are heading that direction thanks to the President's Mental Health Initiative. I had hope that this just couldn't be true. In the state of Illinois, it passed without a hitch. All women of childbearing age will be tested for mental illness. Why would you the casual reader be concerned? They will use that testing against a woman. They will use that testing to take a child from their mother. The National Council for Adoption must be salivating at the thought of that. Its $40,000 per child for them. That would increase adoption a great deal. It would also put more children into the foster care system. This young woman was seeking help and counseling stemming from childhood issues. It is my understanding that she was raped as a child. Her counselors have also written in her behalf. This pediatrician who has never seen this young woman is the one who made the call on this young woman. She will have her baby taken at birth. She is now under court protective order. As with all the other cases, here, here, here, here and here, the family court system has put a gag order on all stories concerning this. Funny thing is that it still leaks out. These newspapers have heard from literally hundreds if not thousands.

This is what the National Council for Adoption would love to happen here. The National Council for Adoption is connected to the Heritage Foundation and Patrick Fagan. I have written about them in the past. It is now that I realize that this group means business. Patrick Fagan blames women for divorce, rape, domestic violence and their own poverty. I read recently that a pastor blamed slavery for the lack of fatherhood in the African American people. It really made sense. In slavery, black people were bought and sold. Slavery had separated families. It never gave fathers a chance to be a father or to learn how to be a father. I see adoption doing the same thing to other fathers as well as African American men. You see back in the baby scoop era, women were totally blamed for their pregnancies. Anglo American women were considered feeble minded, neurotic, mentally unstable, and causing their own pregnancies in order to strike back at their parents. African American women were blamed for their poverty of their race. Both groups of women were considered breeders for the infertile adopters wanting children. The only way that these women could be redeemed was to give their children up for adoption. Interestingly enough, adoption is a predominately white phenomena.

All through the NCFA website, you can find reference to how single women are responsible for the poverty of their children. How single women could help their children become successful by putting them up for adoption. Their CEO, Tom Atwood, is very connected to the Heritage Foundation. He worked for them for eleven years. He also worked for Bethany Adoption Services. Single women will be targeted with this type of legislation in place in Illinois. They will be declared incompetent as they were in the baby scoop era in order to gain their children. They will sell their children to the highest bidder. Are we as a society willing to go back? With groups like this in power, we must make a change and we must be willing to take a stand.

As a mother I do not want my daughters targeted. I want to help my daughters make their decision. In many of the stories previously mentioned, these people didn't have a good support system or they had unscrupulous people working against them. In fact I don't want any woman, man or child targeted for their ability to produce product for a market of entitled people.

Oh and on a side note, they are trolling our blogs and forums. I too thought what would they be interested in with little old me. I have had Holt International, Bethany, and even a troll at the Department of Energy. You ask why they would be interested in us. I found this little memo from the NCFA. The Department of Energy must answer to the Committee of Energy and Commerce. This committee regulates consumer affairs. We all know that adoption is a consumer based business.

WHAT I GOT FROM THE AGENCY

Okay I have posted this twice on my blog. I will post it here. This was done in January of 2006. So its been quite a while. I have put many of my feelings well into perspective. I won't lie. I was angry and hurt. Again, I don't know if this is even true. I don't know without a doubt that she was contacted. I don't know what promises were made to her on my behalf. So keep all of this in mind when reading this. If this is true, I am no longer angry but hurt yes. It is always that way with an adoptee. I no longer have expectations from anyone in this thing. The only thing that I want is that adoption agencies, the state, and the attorneys to stay the heck out of my relationships with my family members.


This was written down by Catrina, my adoption search specialist. She spoke to her and I didn't.She's been raised by another family all of her life.I always wondered if I would get a call like this some day.I have a family and they don't know.Its not a lack of concern. What I did was the best thing I could do.There's no reason to tear my family apart. I don't think its selfish of me.I have to think about my family.My husband knows but my kids don't. But we have never talked about it over the years.I just don't think its a good idea. She's old enough now and mature enough to deal with this. She has her own family. She has a good family.As much as my curiosity is peaked, this would be too disruptive. I don't want to have to tell my kids.This girl already has parents.My youngest son is an athlete and a medical student. He was a valedictorian. Both my boys are extremely intelligent.I'm glad she is doing well. I think I did the right thing.I always wonder, I always think about her. It is not a lack of concern. But i have to balance that with concern for my kids and how this would affect them. My husband would have a fit.She has a family. Biology is just an accident. I don't think this is a good idea.I guess I could talk to my husband about this. No, I'm not doing this. I am not going to open all of this up.MEDICAL:Her dad died at age 82 from pneumonia.Her mom is still alive but suffers from kidney failure as a result of her arthritis medicine. She also has high blood pressure.Birthmother has high cholesterol and takes meds for it. She began taking the meds in 1999.Her sibs and her children are all in good health.HER CALL BACK TO THE AGENCY:Birthmom called again. She said:How confidential is all of this. Is she going to come knocking on my door?This is just too painful. This was 40 years ago, excuse me!Its too late. I thought about getting her letter but it is just too painful.It was painful to begin with. It took me 3-4 years to get my life straightened back out. It was not a fun experience. I don't want to revisit it.I'm sad in a way. I am not being calloused.It would be too difficult to bring her into my life. It would be too painful to my family. They might accept it but why even go through all of that?It would bring a lot of grief.I never heard from the father ever again. He never paid any of my expenses. He took advantage of me and then walked away. I was a big fool. I know he wanted to raise the baby but that would have never worked out. He lived in the same town as my parents. I think he is probably dead. I tried looking for him once and couldn't find him. He must be dead.My parents were always concerned with their public image, not their private one.My dad was a terrible man. He was selfish and evil and did things I can't even talk about. My husband doesn't even want our sons to know what he did. He was physically abusive and other things.My mom was a mouse around my dad. My mom believed every word he said and he never had anything good to say about any of us.I have only been able to put all of that behind me since my dad died and now this has dredged all of this new stuff up.I do her housework, yard work, and get her to the doctors. We have to go to the cemetery 6 times a year. I choke on it, but I go. She lives alone. My brothers want her to be able to stay out of a nursing home as long as possible.I'm deciding I am not going to do this and I won't change my mind. Curiosity is not good enough reason to tear my family apart. What would be the point of me getting that letter except to make me cry.I did the right thing. I couldn't take care of a baby and my folks would not help me.I can't think of any more medical information for her. There are no genetic disorders. My mom has osteoporosis, but I don't. But, I exercise and eat right to stay healthy. I am allergic to cats and seafood.Tell her I am sorry. I am glad she's fine but I can't do this.I should hang up, I'm rambling.My biggest concern right now is can I keep this out of my life. How can I be sure she won't hire a private investigator and show up some day. I don't want to tell the boys. I know they are her half brothers but I am not going to tell them. I haven't told my husband that you called. I am not going to. I don't need to turn their lives upside down. I could give them a choice but they don't need to have this choice. They don't need to know every mistake their mother has made. They think I am this good person.I just wanted to make sure that this would stay private. I don't want to have to sit my husband down and say this girl has found me.It is a comfort to know she is okay.There wasn't anything else I could do. My parents kicked all of us out of the house at one time or another. I was on a real downer back then. I don't know what I was thinking. I dropped out of college.I have a lot of baggage and I don't want to deal with it. My dad did horrible things. That I can't talk about. I don't want to dredge this all up. Since dad has been dead I have shut the door on it. I have been a nervous wreck since you called me.

I know this is a hard read for many people, adoptees, natural parents, and adoptive parents. I want it understood that I met someone whose lack of reunion had the same kind of story line and same wording. So I don't know if any of this is truthful.