Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Does Adoption Equal Slavery?

It has started to be a hot debate over at Firstmother Forum. Although I can see the argument on both sides of this issue. I tend to favor the side that it is similar to slavery. There is a reason why I feel this strongly. We are held to a contract that we did not consent to. We are denied access to our heritage, our identity, and other vital information.

At the same time, I can not call my adoptive mother a slave owner but I could with my adoptive fathers. The first adoptive father considered me replaceable. He did this at the age of five for me. I was merchandise that he bought and discarded very easily. It still irritates me to this day. I know that he was just showing up my adoptive mother. I still do not like being his pawn even to this day.

My second adoptive father probably thought that I was a bad seed. Those things get very old after a while. I feel like property of someone and of the state. That really irritates me as a whole.

Where adoptive parents are to blame for this thinking amongst both birthparents and adoptees is that they do not stand up and fight for the rights of their children. If you truly love your adopted child, you would do that now while they are young and even into adulthood. I am not saying all adoptive parents by any means. I am friends with adoptive parents that do exactly that. There are huge organizations such as PEAR that do support that right of their children. It is the others that I am speaking to. Those that still continue to adopt from agencies that promote closed adoptions. Those that still continue to adopt from agencies that fight to keep those records sealed. Those are the adoptive parents that I am speaking to.

If you have chosen to adopt from any of the NCFA adoption agencies, you are wrong. These adoption agencies promote an unequal agenda that protects only themselves. They do not seek to protect you. That is where those adoptive parents must stop listening to the likes of the NCFA. The legislators are continuing in this negative belief themselves when they vote against adoptee/birthparent access.

Adoptee rights has nothing to do with abortion. Many of the legislators are holding us accountable for the future reproductive choices of American women. It is not my responsibility to worry about that. It is unreasonable for the legislators to continue to do so. That is putting too much emotional burden on children. That attitude needs to go by the wayside.

It is also not the child or adult adoptee’s responsibility to be held accountable for the actions of adults. It is time to end this fallacy. I do not know if we ever will as long as adoptive parents allow the agencies to have this much control.

This is where we need to change the thinking. Adoption is not win/win/win. It is based on loss.

No comments: