Sunday, May 25, 2008

INDIANA CONFIDENTIAL INTERMEDIARIES

Like Illinois, Indiana's confidential intermediary has been rife with corruption and down outright theft. I had recently spoken with a member of Indiana Open. She is having a bad experience with an Indiana CI. That CI's name is Kris Lucas. This member doesn't know if this woman is speaking the truth. She wonders if she is just trying to get more money from the member. Alas, this is a major issue with confidential intermediaries.

My experience has been just as bad with Catrina Carlisle. I honestly believe that all of my information is a lie. Catrina Carlisle lied to me on several occasions that I can't determine the truth of my own situation.

Catrina Carlisle told me that she was the only CI or ASS as she calls herself that I could use. ASS stands for Adoption Search Specialist. She also told me that she could not contact my father because the law didn't allow her to. That fathers can't register on the Adoption History registry. I have read over the law as written into Indiana code. I have also read the law as it is written into the Department of Health Vital Statistics' handbook. There is no restriction on which CI that you use. There is nothing in the law that prohibits contact with the fathers. The law states "birth" parent, not "birth" mother.

Lets also discuss that some of the CIs have a conflict of interest in helping the adoptees and their families. Catrina Carlisle is an adoptive parent and the former agency director of Coleman Adoption Services. Kris Lucas has also worked for Catholic Charities. These are major conflict of interests. These folks do not have our best interests at heart. They have their financial budgets and their personal interests at heart. This can affect the conversaton with our family members.

In January of 2006, I began my search. Before I paid my fee, I asked if my natural mother would have the support needed with dealing with contact. I had spoken with only a few mothers at that time. I wanted to make sure that she would have support if she needed it. I have since learned that the agency is most definitely not the best way to offer support. Knowing what I know now, I would recommend contacting members of Concerned United Birthparents, OriginsUSA, members of the Baby Scoop Era mothers, and First Mothers Connect to get the support that your natural parents might need. These are people who have walked a mile in their shoes. They completely understand what our mothers have felt. I know with both Indiana Open, Coleman Moms and Babes and other organizations that we have support for those mothers. If you are a natural parent searching for your child, join Bastard Nation, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, and others to get the support needed for your adopted child.

I paid my fee. I waited for a day or two until Catrina called me. She told me that my natural mother refused contact. I was getting ready to go behind the fence of Vernon's state hospital, a place for the criminally insane. I was not in the best of places to take that call. I spent the rest of the day crying. The next week my natural mother supposedly called back wanting to know how to keep all of this private. She supposedly wanted to be assured that I would not show up on her door step after hiring a private investigator.

I had called Catrina a couple of other times after that. I was summarily dismissed. In that time, I have heard from countless other Coleman adoptees and Indiana adoptees who have been screwed over by this woman. After speaking with the daughter of a mother who was at the home the day before I was born, I realized that most if not all of my information is a lie.

I have heard repetitively that Indiana is known for changing birth dates, for not having the correct information, and for incest. So if you are coming into the search portion, you need to be aware of these things.

CIs in Indiana answer to no one. They don't answer to the courts. They can and sometimes will take you for a ride. They can and will sometimes lie to you about your information. So be aware very aware. Speak with other adoptees and who they have used.

I have spoken with another CI who said that Indiana has had it share of corruption and theft with CIs. She also told me that most other CIs don't like Coleman adoptees.

My advice to all is if you can afford Kinsolving.com, use them. It puts the ball in your court. It allows you to be treated like the adult that you are.

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