I was on instant messenger with a natural mother out of Indiana. She is a mother from the maternity home in Fort Wayne. She is a couple years younger than my own natural mother. She suffered just as badly at the hands of the maternity home as did the mothers of Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers. It ended up hurting herself in the long run. She kept it in. Now she is screaming it to the world. She has decided that she can't keep it secret any longer. I am one that is proud of her. Oh so proud of her. I hope in time that her daughter will be as well.
I asked her the usual questions. Abuse of natural mothers was prevalent back in those days. One natural mother friend of mine said that they called all of the breeders amongst other things. Things I too have been called by people in my life. After digging into a little history about women and their sexuality, I have learned that white women were whores who could be rehabilitated and black women were forever blamed for their race's poverty. Tough things to deal with. Add one factor that isn't as bad as it was back then. It is still a factor for some women. A woman's parents. Me personally I can't stand my natural mother's parents. For that matter, I absolutely hate the doctor that suggested that my natural mother go to Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers. I wonder how the women from the BSE (forever known as the Baby Scoop Era) can even talk to their parents. Their parents pushed them into these homes.
I have poked questions with my own adoptive mother. I know that there is no way in hell that she would let any grandchild of hers leave the sanctity of the family. I wonder how my own natural grandparents did that to her. I know it was standard practice. It just pisses me off to no extent. How could any person hurt their own child and their own grandchild? I couldn't do that. How do our natural mothers deal with this? This woman that I spoke with felt that her parents didn't deserve to know her daughter. So she waited to search until her mother was deceased. I wonder if that is what my own natural mother is doing. Is she waiting until her mother dies to get to know me? Time will tell.
1 comment:
I have unresolved anger twords my ngrandparents too, how could they let us go so easily?
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