NEGLECT

I am sorry that I have neglected this blog. I have been busy homeschooling my children. I have also been busy keeping active updates on my other blog. Even the email list has been slow. It seems that everything is falling apart with international adoption. I wish so badly that we could help this woman. Record slumps should not be the reason why a woman gives a child up for adoption. Adoption is an unnatural act.

I found this story coming out of New Zealand. Here is the story.

Choosing adoption a `lonely and hard decision'

A record slump in adoption statistics is no surprise to a Christchurch woman who intends to give her unborn child away at birth.

Hei Hei's Tracey Hill is one of the small number of pregnant women nationwide who will choose to place their baby up for adoption by strangers this year. Since 1968, the annual number of children adopted outside their families has fallen from 2617 to 60.

Child, Youth and Family (CYFS) estimates that 300 couples are waiting to adopt. Prospective parents can wait indefinitely to be chosen by a birthmother.

Hill, a 34-year-old married woman with two children, said choosing adoption was a lonely and hard decision. "I was such a mess. It was the lowest I'd ever been in my whole life. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know who to turn to," she said. Her husband was supportive but she did not want him to become attached to the unborn baby.

The couple had intended to have only two children. Despite this, Hill was "paranoid" about what people thought of her and the choice she had made for the baby's future. "I don't hate the baby inside. I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, I don't do drugs, I don't drink Coke. I'm giving it the best start," she said. "With everything growing, the costs of everything - we have two children - another baby on board would be harder."

Hill said abortion, which she had already had with an earlier pregnancy, was easier than what she was now going through. "I wouldn't have morning sickness, I wouldn't have people looking at me, it would be all over now, I would get back to life."

But the plight of relatives who could not have a child made her reconsider her options. She rang CYFS and has met staff, but cannot move on her decision until later in her pregnancy. Her next appointment, when she will start considering birth parents, is during the 36th week.

Choosing adoption has raised many issues for Hill, such as how to tell family and friends. Her daughters do not yet know of the decision.

"As soon you say you're pregnant, (friends) say congratulations and you say actually I'm adopting. The only thing that keeps me going is helping somebody out."

She has not looked at scans or found out the baby's gender, and was uncertain how she would feel handing the child over. But the adoption would be open, allowing the family to maintain contact with the child in its new home.