I will introduce myself. My name is Amy. I was born in Indianapolis Indiana in 1965. I was adopted from the Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers. I began this roadtrip about two years ago. I have been inactively searching for about ten years. I began my search with St. Elizabeth Coleman in January 2004. I was working on the floor when I got the call that she supposedly refused contact. I began to search feverishly. It very nearly ran me and my family into the ground. I realized that I had to let it go. At this point I began to get more politically involved. It was a better way for me to redirect my anger at the system.
It was about six months ago that I realized that this agency was just as bad as all the rest. I was raised believing this agency was above the rest. Sadly this isn't true. I met a natural mother from that maternity home. I now know how my own natural mother was treated during her stay at the maternity home. It just angers me beyond belief. I feel that the State of Indiana and all the former maternity homes owe her, me and all our family members an apology.
I have been writing the state legislature of Indiana. I have become actively involved in several organizations that believe in an adoptee right to access. As we all write on this, we will provide information, our thoughts, our feelings and things we see needing change. You will see links to other blogs and webistes providing solid quality information.
7 comments:
Amy, thank you for the work you have started here. I've added you to my blogroll, and look forward to keeping up with your work.
I used the St. Elizabeth Coleman agency and Katrina as my search specialist in 2005. I was adopted from Suemma Coleman in 1952.
I would recommend Katrina Carlisle to anyone, and have already, for the process of searching for a bith-family. The money used for the research and time they spend looking through years of records, birth certificates, marriage records, and death certificates is
worth spending. I spent hours searching through books. The web sites were asking so much money and wanted private information.
Katrina showed me and my birth family nothing but respect and kindness. As an adoptive mom, she understands what we are going through.
I talked to Katrina about 6 months before I decided to go thru with the search. She informed me from the start that my birth mom may not want contact with me, or she may not be found. I went into the process knowing I might have to accept the word "no." Yes, it would hurt but it still needed to be respected!
When Katrina contacted me the first time she had my files and read several items from it. I was told to ask questions as she read because the files would be sealed afterwards.
I learned several things about my birth mom from the files. She was very popular. And she was treated with the utmost respect.
I received a call from Katrina about 3 months into the search. She not only found my mom but had talked to her. Katrina told her about the paper work she needed to fill out, sign and send back, then we could contact each other.
She could have changed her mind before receiving the paperwork but Katrina could not contact her again because of privacy and harrasment issues.
She said her stay at the home was good. She remembered many people, made many friends, and kept in contact with some of them for many years.
If she had not given me up for adoption, my life would not have been as good as it is. I was adopted, CHOSEN by a couple who could not have children. They did not have to raise me, have many sleepless nights, and spend money on me and my education. But they CHOSE to do so. And for that I love them very much.
I know she made the best decision she could in her circumstances. I am thankful for the life she gave me, both in birth and future family.
I inform anyone that asks me about searching for birth families that there are many ups and downs to the search process, outcomes not expected, but must be respected, and laws not accepted by everyone, that are made to protect everyone involved in the process.
I believe health records for adoptees should be made available, not at the expense of disrupting an unexpecting, unknowning family but through doctors who can review your files.
I was blessed to have Katrina find my birth family. Not all searches are as fast and successful as mine. Not all outcomes are good. Be prepared to accept the decision of the birth mom. It is not the fault of the agency or the CI. Ask questions and ask about the laws having to do with adoption searches. Think about it and make sure this is what you want to do. Understand the outcome may not be what your expect.
You see I have heard differently. Katrina screws ppl over in adoption. Did you know that she was the former director of the agency? Did you know that she wrote the Idiot's Guide to Adoption? I know she is bad news. She lied to me about finding my natural father. She has lied to many others as well. She has screwed over many adoptees and natural parents. Say what you want. I know better
Until I have heard from my mother herself, I won't believe a word she says EVER
Coleman Moms and Babes:
I am just now beginning a search for my birth mother at the tender age of 46. For the first time ever, I finally feel the need to
fill in the "blank page" in my life... as my benevolent, adoptive father supportively calls it.
My birth mother, we believe, was at the Colemman center and delivered me (somewhere), on July 5th, 1962. I was adopted through St. Elizabeth's Catholic Charities Indianapolis in September 1962. I am nearly positive that I too, am a "Coleman Babe" and have a Coleman "Mom" somewhere.
Now, at middle age with 2 beautiful boys of my own, having experienced a most wonderful upbringing by 2 of the most special people (parents) I have ever had the honor of knowing and loving, I search, (with their unconditional love & support), for any shread of info that can shed some light on who I am, where I came from, my ethnicity, and any insight into my own personal medical history (as both of my sons have some medical issues).
I am just beginning my journey, starting with IN.gov consent forms for ID & Non-ID info. I have contacted Katrina at Coleman who explained their process to me.
I wonder if my mother has ever looked for me? Do I have any half-siblings? Is there anyone around that looks like me, or that I favor? All these typical questions of the babes.
I feel a kindred sort of sympathy for my then young birth mother, and any other who had to suffer through the scorn and shame of being an unwed mother, as I too was unwed with child before marrying my husband. The fear, shame and anxiety she must have dealt with at a tender age, along with the other mothers to be at the home and elsewhere.
I thank my birth mother for not aborting me in some dark alley back in the 60's.
Is there anyone out there in the Indy area (or anywhere), that may know anything about or of a young unwed girl, who delivered a beautiful, healthy, dark complected, brown-eyed baby girl back on July 5th, 1962?
I was referred to as "Maria," by my caseworker "Mr. Logan," and my parents' adoption attorney was "Joseph F. Rautenberg, Jr." (now deceased).
I have waited 46 years to embark upon this journey, and now I cannot seem to wait another day.
Anyone with any info, please post a request to contact me, or leave a comment or blog.
Thanks so very much in advance, and thanks just for listening...
JulyBabyGirl62
I was just wondering if you ever came into contact with your "birth mother"? I am a former resident of St.E's and I know at that time it was also an adoption agency. I don't know if it still is today. I made some really close friends when I stayed there. We weren't really mistreated. I think they were just trying to prepare us for what was ahead of us.However, I have also tried to get information from them about former staff, and residents and they all tell me the same thing..the records are sealed and in storage. Good Luck with your search. I hope you have better luck then I did.
Dear Anonymous,
I never found. I was placed through the Coleman home. It is now St. Elizabeth Coleman. I believe it was a Methodist agency at the time of my adoption but it was taken over by the Catholics. I would recommend finding a search angel or a confidential intermediary. You might want to try Steve Kirsh. He may be a jerk but he is effective when reunions are wanted. He has made a public announcement where he asks that you just pay court costs. I wish you luck on your search. I never found because my file was a blatant lie. I would not recommend Catrina Carlisle if my life depended on it.
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