Back from the Unknown

I didn't realize that I still had commenters writing about the agency. I have to gag on the way both some adoptive parents and birth parents call their adopted/relinquished child "this child." Neither acknowledge that loving bond between parent and child. This is where many adoptees get mad at both groups. We are not "its", "this or thats", or any other term that deems us as objects to be cast aside.

It is absolutely horrifying that people actually view children in these terms. I may not have custody of my girls but they are still MY girls just as much as they are their father's girls. It is not one or the other. We love our daughters. We fight each other viciously at times over issues concerning our girls. We also support each other when it comes to our girls. Our girls would never be any of these terms. How others can do this just blows my mind. We are all responsible for our children all adopted, relinquished, and kept. As such, we owe our children truth, kindness, compassion and love. If you can't give that to a child, you have no business raising any child. You have to respect both sides of the parental abyss. Neither would have a child without the other one. If you can't put a child's needs above your own, you should not even try to parent your child or anyone else's for that matter.

Just thoughts on commentary by both adoptive parents and birth parents.

New Plans

So many things have changed for me. It seems like that things change on a dime. I have now moved to Houston where things are much different for me. It was two months ago that I was forced back home to my sister's home in Austin. I had to take time to recover from surgery.

I had tried it my way for over a year. It did not work. I had to follow God's plan. So here I am. I have a job working for a cable contracting company as an administrative assistant. I have been admitted into Houston Community College as a nursing student. Yep this kid is heading back to college. I see an opportunity and I am going to run with it. I am going to take it as far as I can. I am getting a full ride with school, much in part to my military background. Texas is kind enough to offer the Hazelwood Act to its veterans. I also qualify for the Pell Grant along with other potential programs as well. I might actually make it. I might finally be getting my feet planted solidly on the ground.

Things are most definitely looking up.

Never Ending

I am always amazed at how adoption consistently stays the same. Nothing ever seems to change or grow when it comes to anything adoption. We get the enlightened ones but they, just like me, have become really disenchanted with adoption in this sense. Adoption is always about the industry itself. It is never about those living adoption. In doing so, it creates a codependent environment. If you don't know what kind of environment that is, just Google alcoholics and their familial relationships. You will see what exactly that I am talking about.

When those who speak about adoption have it in their lives, we should pay attention to it. We should not dismiss their feelings in regard to it. Some have good experiences with it while others do not. It is not our moral responsibility to judge anyone in regards to adoption.

When you see stories of those being called to adopt, it is not God's doing. It is the adoption industry itself. They want to make more money. If they were about the children and his/her parents, then they would not be opposed to adoptee access, natural parent access, or adoptive parent access. They want you to feel happy about adoption so that they can come in and take your child if you are an adoptee or a mother. They want you to feel happy about adoption if you are an adoptive parent so that they can sell you another child. Adoption is about money. How you feel about it is how you are controlled. That is why you are part of the vicious cycle of codependency in adoption.

Sometimes

Sometimes you just have to stop and regroup. That is what has been going on. I have had to relocate with family. I needed a break from the insanity that was in Wichita Falls and surrounding areas. There wasn't much of a choice in the matter.

I had to take a break for my own health. I recently had pronater syndrome, cubital tunnel, and carpal tunnel in my non dominant arm. It meant my left arm had to be butchered with three different surgeries on one arm. What is sad is that arm was my favorite arm. Now it has three major scars on it.

So while I am healing, I am chilling out and reading. I have been catching up on stuff concerning adoption, adoptee rights, and other adoption reform issues. I have also been doing research on other topics concerning parental rights and parental alienation. Since my ex husband and his darling wife have been hitting both of my blogs, I figured that I would include lots of good information concerning that too.

Of course the most interesting part of the last year is that Katrina Carlisle is no longer with St. Elizabeth Coleman. Maybe now, adoptees and their families can finally get a break.

China In Adoption News Again

I have known for years that the adoption industry is a huge market. Each and every country has had its issues with corruption. China has popped up again. As I read all three of the articles in the news, none of the articles mention an adoption agency who was involved in these cases. The investigation isn't complete until they have checked out who they are. These agencies need to be held accountable because they created a marketable situation where natural families could be destroyed and corrupted. I realize those are harsh words for adoptive parents. Every child deserves to raised and loved in their natural families first. If they don't have any family to raise or support them, then and only then should they be placed for adoption. There are just too many cases of corruption, baby selling, and baby trafficking. If it is just one case, that is one case too many.

Indiana Adoptee Rights News

Adoptee rights in Indiana has hit an impasse again this year. Although I am not actively involved in the movement right now due to my own personal life, I still pay attention to adoptee rights in any shape or form. Will I see adoptee rights change in Indiana soon or in my lifetime? I don't think so because the state is so religiously based. They freak out over any potential increase in abortions.

Adult adoptees point blank deserve equal access to their original birth certificates. I have noticed in the news that adoptees in several states are facing many new bills being presented.

New York has been pushing a bill called the Adoptee Bill of Rights. Along with the Adoptee Rights Demonstration and Bastard Nation, I believe that adoptees deserve equal access to their original birth certificates. I understand the thinking behind this bill. We are still effectively giving birth parents a right that they do not have. Privacy does not exist any longer due to technological advances such as the internet. Everything is public knowledge. If a child is not adopted, then the birth parent does not have any privacy. The original birth certificate is still intact and available to the adoptee. The most basic thought that I have with this is that we all biologically know who our parents are because we have their genetics. So how we actually be kept away and private from each other? Biological parents in normal intact families do not have privacy from each other because they know who they are. When a birth parent relinquishes their rights, they have no further rights to their children placed for adoption. All rights are terminated. If they are given additional rights, this opens the door for parents to fight the termination of their rights.

Did You See Oprah and Her New Sister?

I saw part of it. I was a little frustrated because I felt that they left her in the lurch. They could have expanded it more. Oprah could have concentrated on the issues for the adoptee, her sister. Its always interesting to see reunions. At least this time, the adoptive parents were not mentioned. I felt that the show was a little self centered. They made it about Oprah and her mother.

I think forcing her mother out of the closet as she did was probably not very helpful. The show could have reflected more on the laws in this country instead of Oprah's personal stance on her public personality.

Adoptees are not out to ruin families but find their connection in the world. Its a shame that Oprah did not do more for adoptees and their families.