Coleman Moms and Babes

Blogger Has Gotten Funky

2011-12-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I have written on this blog. Now that Blogger has obviously made some changes, I am learning to adjust to this new platform. I liked being able to look at an enclosed board and typing in a blog post. Now it is completely different.

Much has changed for me. I am in college studying to be a nurse eventually. I am doing good so far. I just have to give my health issues just as much energy as my schooling. It requires that I do surgery. That isn't fun dealing with skin grafts and wound vacs. The Veteran Affairs Hospitals just do not like to give any kind of pain medication even if a person is in dire need.

I am working part time as an invoicer for a couple of subcontractors. That allows me to work from home. I hope to get a position with the college as clerk for their bookstore. That will supplement my income a bit to help with other financial situations. I have come to realize too that I need to concentrate on my two active blogs, Coleman Moms and Babes and Amy's A Day in the Life. I need to bring up active readership on both of them so maybe I can earn more money via blog ads. It is not much money but it is enough to help me buy school supplies and textbooks.

I have been told by my darling boyfriend that it is time for me to get back into the politics of adoptee rights and adoption reform. I will also be posting my recent mitochondrial DNA testing results.

We are Here

2011-11-15T00:25:00.000-08:00

Well I did something new and different. Maybe it is a pathway for me to discover myself slowly without interfering into someone else's life. I sent off for a Family Tree DNA kit and submitted last Friday. I got an email saying that they had received it. At least I can find out what my country of origin might have been, instead of my ex calling me a wetback. When we were married, he called me his little wetback. Yes it bugged me.

This time I have promised myself that I would take it slower and not let anyone push me into a direction where I am not comfortable. I will take this all in my time. Since Family Tree DNA is in Houston, I will probably get the results sooner. I will savor the moment that I receive the information. I will go from there at that point.

9/11 Reflections

2011-09-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

Where were you on that fateful day when the American life changed? I was on my way to the grocery store after dropping my daughters off at daycare. I initially thought it was just a small airplane. After I got home and unloaded the groceries, I turned on the news. It was around that time that the second plane hit the World Trade towers. I picked up my cell phone and was calling my mother to make sure that she stayed home. My mom then worked for the Austin Airport as security. Then the Pentagon was struck. Then Flight 93 with Tom Burnett went down. Many Americans were heros that day. Just ordinary heros. I found this article particularly heartwrenching. So many people think about birth parents as people not caring about their children. So many people think that they are drug addicts and so forth. They are not. They are special just like the rest of us are. In fact, one in particular helped down an airplane so that it would not hurt more Americans. He lost his life in the process. I know that I am proud of him and hope that others are as well. He is not a selfless hero because he relinquished. He is a selfless hero because he gave his life for his country. He would have been a great father if given the opportunity. I am grateful that his daughter got to know his family. I just wish that they had known each other when he was alive.

Daughter, in search for birth parents, finds 9-11 hero Associated Press ST. PAUL - Mariah Mills thought she knew who her birth father might be after finding out he had probably died, even without immediately learning his name.Years earlier, after hearing that planes had crashed into the World Trade Center while she was a high school student here, she felt she had lost someone. Now, Mills was even more sure after talking briefly on the phone with her mother, who had seen Mills' parents' names on her daughter's birth certificate, only saying they would talk about it later."I remember her saying, 'I think my birth dad is dead," her friend Margaret Nevins recalled in an article published in the Sunday's edition of the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "She said, `I think it's that guy who died in 9/11.' I thought she was jumping to conclusions. She was pretty sure about it, though."And she was right.Mills' father, who had given Mills up for adoption when he and his girlfriend were in college, was Tom Burnett, a leader of a group that fought back on Flight 93 before it crashed in Pennsylvania on Sept. 11, 2001.Her father, Walter Mills, shakes his head in disbelief as he recollects her words back on 9/11. "That - what's the word? Premonition? Yes, premonition. That's nothing science could ever explain."Mills learned about her birth father in 2004 - after she turned 19, the legal age in Minnesota for requesting a birth certificate with names of birth parents - and subsequent DNA tests confirmed that Burnett was her father.Today, Mills has developed a relationship with Burnett's widow, Deena, her three daughters, husband and stepson, and other members of Burnett's family. She celebrated her birthday with her birth mother, who lives in St. Paul with her husband and two children and asked not to be named for this story.But learning about her father's death on that infamous day without never having had the chance to meet him was difficult, Mills and her family recalled in the Pioneer Press story."The information just hit us like an explosion," said Mills' mother, Cathy. "It was like that plane crashed into our house. The trauma, the shock, the sadness. Everything changed."Mills and her parents visited Jefferson High School in Bloomington during the spring of 2004 after Mariah found out about her birth parents. Mariah wanted to look up Tom Burnett in his senior yearbook. She found his photo and one of her birth mother, too."It was weird to finally look like somebody," Mills said. "I have her eyes, but mostly I look like a Burnett."She also visited Tom Burnett's grave at Fort Snelling National Cemetery and left flowers there. She spent most of the rest of spring break crying. She locked herself in her bedroom and scarcely ate or slept. Her parents encouraged her to take a leave from DePaul University in Chicago, but she refused."It was painful to watch," Cathy Mills said. "She was just traumatized. She would never meet him. And the way he died - such a public death - yet she had no way of knowing about it at the time. A girl she knew at DePaul told her she went to his funeral. Of course, Mariah wasn't there."Mills didn't go out much after she returned to DePaul to finish her freshman year."I felt just numb," she said. "I slept a lot, stared at the wall. I would wake up in the morning and look at myself and see him. His face, his nose and my eyes set like his. I'd waited so long to meet him, and I was two and half years too late. College is about figuring out what you want to do and who you are and, for me, finding out who my parents were was a last missing part of the puzzle."Deena Burnett was one of the few people who knew Tom had fathered a child given up for adoption. She and Tom met in Atlanta in July 1989 during an afternoon happy hour when she was a Delta Air Lines flight attendant and he was a regional sales manager.About six weeks into their relationship, Tom told her his girlfriend in college had gotten pregnant, that the two had talked about getting married and had finally decided to give the baby up for adoption.Deena Burnett was shocked and angry. "Here was my new boyfriend, the one I had been sure I would marry, and I just didn't understand," she said. "I came from southeast Arkansas, where if you had a child out of wedlock, you kept that child."But she could see that he felt regret and "was still struggling with the fact he had given this child up," she said. Tom made it clear "he hoped to have a relationship with that child at some point, and I would need to be willing to accept that child into our family."After Mills was given up for adoption, Burnett's family didn't talk about the baby.But during the last several years of his life, Burnett talked about the baby with his younger sister Mary Jurgens, telling her more than once, "My children and I will meet that child when the time is right."When it came time for Mariah to meet Burnett's family, she barely slept the night before."I've never been so scared," she said. "I wanted to look conservative but nice for my grandparents. Nothing tight or low-cut. I wanted them to be proud I was their relative."She brought along photographs of herself, family and friends and a bouquet to give them. "I wanted to be Miss Personality - funny, articulate and charismatic," she said. "I wanted to be perfect for them."The Burnetts invited Mariah to the house of Martha Burnett - Tom Burnett's older sister - for brunch on a spring day in 2004. Jurgens met her at the door, instantly feeling a deep connection to the tall, blond teen with a lovely smile, neatly attired in light blue capris, a black tank top and cardigan, and black flip-flops."When I opened the door, it was like looking at my little nieces - but grown up. I was so excited to meet her and yet there was this deep sorrow my brother couldn't be there," Jurgens said. "When I opened the door it was like, 'I know you. You are part of us.'"The family looked at Mariah's photos and showed her their family pictures and mementos, contained in a big box. The brunch stretched to three hours."If only Tommy were still alive," Jurgens said. "I have this vision of what it would have been like for her to meet him, and it just breaks my heart. He was so calm and collected, and it would have been so comfortable to him, meeting her. I pictured my brother flying to Chicago and picking her up for dinner, making it really special. They would have had this fabulous time."Mills transferred to the University of Minnesota and is entering her senior year. She will spend her first semester studying abroad. Her dream job, she said, would be writing about baseball and covering the Minnesota Twins."Before I was even born, my birth dad made a brave decision - to give me a life," Mills said. "It was a selfless act, just like his actions on Flight 93. And, as awful as it was that he died, and I never got to know him, there is good that came out of this. We each sort of get part of Tom back. I get all of them and they get me, his daughter

Saving Money on the Cell Phone Bill

2011-08-26T07:01:00.001-07:00

This post brought to you by Straight Talk. All opinions are 100% mine.

I don't know about you but I use my cell phone heavily these days. In recent months, it has taken the place of my internet and computer. My cell phone has everything you need to get your point across. I also pay for my daughter's line as well. There is a new cell phone service out there that tackles much of what the traditional contract companies offer without the contract. Many of the awesome smart phones are at a reasonable cost. Some of their phones start out at ten bucks. You get all of the contract services without the contract price. I have thought seriously about it but I have three contract lines. It would not be cheap for me to get out of them just yet. I have seriously considered these offers though. I could save a massive amount of money to which I could afford school supplies as well as other needs. I can call a friend cheaper than ever. I have friends all over this great country of ours. I have to remind my daughter when she uses her phone too much that mom knows best.

You can check out some of their great reviews and get good information.

Back from the Unknown

2011-08-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize that I still had commenters writing about the agency. I have to gag on the way both some adoptive parents and birth parents call their adopted/relinquished child "this child." Neither acknowledge that loving bond between parent and child. This is where many adoptees get mad at both groups. We are not "its", "this or thats", or any other term that deems us as objects to be cast aside.

It is absolutely horrifying that people actually view children in these terms. I may not have custody of my girls but they are still MY girls just as much as they are their father's girls. It is not one or the other. We love our daughters. We fight each other viciously at times over issues concerning our girls. We also support each other when it comes to our girls. Our girls would never be any of these terms. How others can do this just blows my mind. We are all responsible for our children all adopted, relinquished, and kept. As such, we owe our children truth, kindness, compassion and love. If you can't give that to a child, you have no business raising any child. You have to respect both sides of the parental abyss. Neither would have a child without the other one. If you can't put a child's needs above your own, you should not even try to parent your child or anyone else's for that matter.

Just thoughts on commentary by both adoptive parents and birth parents.

Buying Walgreen Products

2011-06-23T22:01:00.001-07:00

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Walgreens for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

I have purchased many generic products over the years. I save money using these products as well as get what I use and need in a cheaper form. Many of these products are just as good if not better than the original product. I really enjoy using many of Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Products.

They are just as good as many of the name brand products. In fact, instead of buying Zyrtec, I will use Walgreens version of it. It eases my allergy issues just as well. I save money while using the product. At the same time, I get the relief from common every day allergies. I have been using it since I have moved to Houston. My nose seems to run non stop since I have been here. It help relieves the breathing in water feeling that I have since I have been here. I am not the only one who feels that way. My oldest daughter has used it a time or two as well. I have used many of their products in past years and have been grateful for their health and wellness products. Several bloggers are also giving away awesome Walgreen gift cards as great giveaways.

Do you want to help others? Here is a great way to do so. When you purchase these Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Products, they help fund the Walgreens Way to Well Fund™.

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New Plans

2011-06-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

So many things have changed for me. It seems like that things change on a dime. I have now moved to Houston where things are much different for me. It was two months ago that I was forced back home to my sister's home in Austin. I had to take time to recover from surgery.

I had tried it my way for over a year. It did not work. I had to follow God's plan. So here I am. I have a job working for a cable contracting company as an administrative assistant. I have been admitted into Houston Community College as a nursing student. Yep this kid is heading back to college. I see an opportunity and I am going to run with it. I am going to take it as far as I can. I am getting a full ride with school, much in part to my military background. Texas is kind enough to offer the Hazelwood Act to its veterans. I also qualify for the Pell Grant along with other potential programs as well. I might actually make it. I might finally be getting my feet planted solidly on the ground.

Things are most definitely looking up.

Never Ending

2011-06-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

I am always amazed at how adoption consistently stays the same. Nothing ever seems to change or grow when it comes to anything adoption. We get the enlightened ones but they, just like me, have become really disenchanted with adoption in this sense. Adoption is always about the industry itself. It is never about those living adoption. In doing so, it creates a codependent environment. If you don't know what kind of environment that is, just Google alcoholics and their familial relationships. You will see what exactly that I am talking about.

When those who speak about adoption have it in their lives, we should pay attention to it. We should not dismiss their feelings in regard to it. Some have good experiences with it while others do not. It is not our moral responsibility to judge anyone in regards to adoption.

When you see stories of those being called to adopt, it is not God's doing. It is the adoption industry itself. They want to make more money. If they were about the children and his/her parents, then they would not be opposed to adoptee access, natural parent access, or adoptive parent access. They want you to feel happy about adoption so that they can come in and take your child if you are an adoptee or a mother. They want you to feel happy about adoption if you are an adoptive parent so that they can sell you another child. Adoption is about money. How you feel about it is how you are controlled. That is why you are part of the vicious cycle of codependency in adoption.

Pizza ~ The Ultimate Comfort Food

2011-05-12T01:01:00.000-07:00

This post brought to you by FRESCHETTA®. All opinions are 100% mine.

Can you imagine sitting down with your family watching a totally cool movie? What is the ultimate in comfort food in this kind of environment? It is pizza. You can enjoy at least eight different kinds from FRESCHETTA® Simply…Inspired™.

My mother just loves thin and crispy crust while I love the deep dish crust. With FRESCHETTA® Simply…Inspired™ , you can enjoy your favorite taste, sauce, and crust. The best thing about their pizza is their packaging which uses 30% less than normal but allows their pizza to stay absolutely fresh and ready for you. This allows you to enjoy all eight of their specialty pizzas.

I enjoy eating pizza with my whole family. My daughters and I gorge on it and have fun doing it. We laugh and enjoy movies together. It is all about comfort and quality time with family. You can even save money by hooking up with FRESCHETTA® Simply…Inspired™ on their Facebook. You can also check out their updates on Twitter. Be on the look out for great giveaways and a special downloadable coupon for two dollars off. Everyone needs to save money these days. We can do it all at once, saving money, quality family time, and excellent comfort food. What could be better than that?

Sometimes

2011-05-11T16:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just have to stop and regroup. That is what has been going on. I have had to relocate with family. I needed a break from the insanity that was in Wichita Falls and surrounding areas. There wasn't much of a choice in the matter.

I had to take a break for my own health. I recently had pronater syndrome, cubital tunnel, and carpal tunnel in my non dominant arm. It meant my left arm had to be butchered with three different surgeries on one arm. What is sad is that arm was my favorite arm. Now it has three major scars on it.

So while I am healing, I am chilling out and reading. I have been catching up on stuff concerning adoption, adoptee rights, and other adoption reform issues. I have also been doing research on other topics concerning parental rights and parental alienation. Since my ex husband and his darling wife have been hitting both of my blogs, I figured that I would include lots of good information concerning that too.

Of course the most interesting part of the last year is that Katrina Carlisle is no longer with St. Elizabeth Coleman. Maybe now, adoptees and their families can finally get a break.

China In Adoption News Again

2011-05-11T14:15:00.000-07:00

I have known for years that the adoption industry is a huge market. Each and every country has had its issues with corruption. China has popped up again. As I read all three of the articles in the news, none of the articles mention an adoption agency who was involved in these cases. The investigation isn't complete until they have checked out who they are. These agencies need to be held accountable because they created a marketable situation where natural families could be destroyed and corrupted. I realize those are harsh words for adoptive parents. Every child deserves to raised and loved in their natural families first. If they don't have any family to raise or support them, then and only then should they be placed for adoption. There are just too many cases of corruption, baby selling, and baby trafficking. If it is just one case, that is one case too many.

Being Able to See Clearly

2011-03-12T09:38:00.000-08:00

Seeing clearly is important for any individual. With the economy being what it is, the sad truth is the lesser health bills are being bypassed. One of those health care concerns is the ability get eyeglasses. We are having to cover many things now. Prices are going up as each day goes forward. Food prices are on the rise, oil prices are increasing at alarming rates. Health care costs are also increasing as everyone tries to cover all expenses. Many times dentist and optical appointments seem to go by the wayside. Children need eyeglasses to see the chalkboard. Adults need eyeglasses to accomplish their jobs to provide for their families. We need a place to get glasses at a cheaper rate. We can not afford the middle man prices any longer. This applies to every family in the United States. We want choices that are not normally afforded to us. Many of these quick eyeglass shops that provide glasses in about an hour are not cutting it and are very expensive. Eyeglasses are a health necessity for all of us. It helps to do our jobs, helps us study, and helps the overall quality of our lives. You can check out Zenni Optical and their reviews at this link. You can now get them cheaper by going straight to the manufacturer.

Indiana Adoptee Rights News

2011-03-12T09:13:00.000-08:00

Adoptee rights in Indiana has hit an impasse again this year. Although I am not actively involved in the movement right now due to my own personal life, I still pay attention to adoptee rights in any shape or form. Will I see adoptee rights change in Indiana soon or in my lifetime? I don't think so because the state is so religiously based. They freak out over any potential increase in abortions.

Adult adoptees point blank deserve equal access to their original birth certificates. I have noticed in the news that adoptees in several states are facing many new bills being presented.

New York has been pushing a bill called the Adoptee Bill of Rights. Along with the Adoptee Rights Demonstration and Bastard Nation, I believe that adoptees deserve equal access to their original birth certificates. I understand the thinking behind this bill. We are still effectively giving birth parents a right that they do not have. Privacy does not exist any longer due to technological advances such as the internet. Everything is public knowledge. If a child is not adopted, then the birth parent does not have any privacy. The original birth certificate is still intact and available to the adoptee. The most basic thought that I have with this is that we all biologically know who our parents are because we have their genetics. So how we actually be kept away and private from each other? Biological parents in normal intact families do not have privacy from each other because they know who they are. When a birth parent relinquishes their rights, they have no further rights to their children placed for adoption. All rights are terminated. If they are given additional rights, this opens the door for parents to fight the termination of their rights.

Spicy Hot

2011-01-31T06:27:00.001-08:00

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of TABASCO® Original Red. All opinions are 100% mine.

I am learning new things every day. I am spicing up my life in new ways. It feels wonderful to express me in these exciting ways. My boyfriend loves a bit of hot in his foot. He actually calls jalapenos pickles. He loves it hot. I now look for new recipes to fit his level of spice without burning a new hole in my stomach. I can tolerate TABASCO® Original Red with my food.

Many years ago, I ran across a recipe that involved Tabasco Original Red. You melt down butter or margarine in a frying pan. Empty an entire bottle of Tabasco in it, too. You put your chicken wings or legs in them and fry it up until it is done. It makes a great addition to any Game-Day Party Menu. It is pretty tasty too.

Tabasco makes any meat tastier. It brings out the true flavors in your spices. It is great in a Pizza Perfected. Just throw a couple of splashes onto your pizza. The oregano, cheese, and all other spices perk right up. It brings out each individual spice to make it just awesome. Your guests will remember the food as well as the ball game. It puts the excitement back into eating great foods. Your taste buds come alive.

Did You See Oprah and Her New Sister?

2011-01-26T14:21:00.000-08:00

I saw part of it. I was a little frustrated because I felt that they left her in the lurch. They could have expanded it more. Oprah could have concentrated on the issues for the adoptee, her sister. Its always interesting to see reunions. At least this time, the adoptive parents were not mentioned. I felt that the show was a little self centered. They made it about Oprah and her mother.

I think forcing her mother out of the closet as she did was probably not very helpful. The show could have reflected more on the laws in this country instead of Oprah's personal stance on her public personality.

Adoptees are not out to ruin families but find their connection in the world. Its a shame that Oprah did not do more for adoptees and their families.

Summertime Fun

2010-08-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Hiltons of Branson. All opinions are 100% mine.

The end of summer is drawing close. Many schools have already started in this area. I would love to be able to take my daughters on a dream vacation. I have always wanted to visit Branson. I thought Branson was romantic and fun during the wintertime. I know that it would be an absolute blast during the summer time, especially for my daughters. I would love to stay at either Hilton Promenade at Branson Landing or Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel. They are located in the middle of all the great fun in Branson. They have Silver Dollar City, the Ozarks, and many country music concerts all throughout the year. The end of summer brings all of these fun events into one quick weekend package. With these great events, Branson located in Ozarks where beautiful mountains and lake country are combined. This beauty is one of America’s finest scenes. You are truly in the middle of God’s country. I remember visiting the Ozarks briefly when I was a teenager on her way home from her grandparent’s home. I have always wanted to visit again. I thought it was beautiful then. I would like to show my daughters what mountains and lakes really are. So if you are looking for a great holiday getaway, consider Branson.

Oklahoma Adoption Task Force

2010-08-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago, a couple of adoption agencies and attorneys got into trouble over their business practices with adoptive parents. Well at that time, an adoption task force was established to address changes needed in the adoption system in Oklahoma. Today there was an article in the Oklahoman about this task force. They are wanting to know how many adoptions occur in Oklahoma. They are also wanting to know who should receive this information.

What about the adoptees in this state? Why isn't the rights of those adoptees being restored to them? Why are they just concentrating on the number of adoptions? I agree that they need to be concentrating on the fee structures of adoption agencies and attorneys but lets not forget those of us who are adopted. We need our rights restored to us.

We are your sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. We are also your friends and coworkers. We are also your veterans. It is time to restore our right to access documents that the state of Oklahoma has on us. Please Oklahoma state legislators consider this as well.

Visiting Branson in the Summer

2010-08-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Hiltons of Branson. All opinions are 100% mine.

I worked for a veterinarian in Bartlesville, Oklahoma many years ago. He and his family often went to Branson. I have often wanted to visit that area again because of the Ozark Mountains. The atmosphere in Branson is focused solely on families. That was one of the reasons why I wanted to also visit Branson. I would love to visit Ripley’s Believe It or Not. I want to see the Ozark Mountains again. I would also love to see much of the music festivals that they have in Branson.

I would also love to stay at the Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel. The hotel is beautiful. It is located on Lake Taneycomo which looks to be very peaceful and beautiful. I love country living and vacations. I do not get to do them that often but I would most love it to be able to stay there or at the Hilton Promenade at Branson Landing. Last year these two hotels brought in culinary artists to teach the common folk how to cook an exciting meal. These hotels are close to many of the attractions in Branson. It would sure make for a comfortable and relaxing weekend that I could spend with my daughters.

India Courts Rule Against an Adoptee

2010-08-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

When an adoptee or an adoptees group takes a step out, I like to give them some love to show that I appreciate their hard work. It is not easy to do so. It takes strength, courage, and conviction to be able to do so. When they do it in a public forum like a court room, I jump and hollar for them. If it is done in a foreign country, I am amazed and proud all in one breath.

In the news, this story came out. Dohle, a German adoptee with Indian descent, did such a courageous thing. He went to a high court and then went to an appeals court. He stood up for what he believed in. I wish I had the time, money and tenacity to do this very thing.

Although it did not turn out as he wanted, he still did a brave thing. Kudos for trying out there in India. Keep trying and never give up.

On Demand

2010-08-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Charter. All opinions are 100% mine.

On Demand is a new and exciting idea that Charter has come out with. It is a very cool idea. How many times have you had to work late but wanted to be home to watch your favorite television show. I know that I loved Saving Grace, Hawthorne, Leverage, and many others. Sons of Anarchy will be returning to FX soon. I am anxiously awaiting the new season.

On Demand is not just about pay per view movies. You can visit the On Demand home page to find out the listings of shows in your area. It is about watching some of your favorite shows when you have time to watch them. It is about watching movies on your time, not on the network’s time. That is really great feature if your work schedule is sporadic. I know that I can not count on a set time to get off work. It is nice to know that this feature is available to customers. This product was created with the customer in mind. It is always about the customer and making sure that they are happy. They will stay with you if that is the case. You can also discover the best of Charter’s offers and giveaways when You will ‘Like’ their Facebook page as well.

Chilling Out

2010-08-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

It has been close to a year since I was active in politics. For me, politics and its antics have taken a back seat. I was one of those that wrote the legislators faithfully every month. I had to finally quit because my personal life spiraled out of control.

I am learning to be chilled out. I wish honestly that I could get back into the adoption thing full force. I still have outside forces taken a forefront in my life. My job is the most important. I have to support not just myself, but my daughters, their father and his girlfriend. That does not make me a happy camper. I have to deal with a daughter that refuses to recognize any contribution at all that I have made in her life. She refuses to recognize the importance of her mother in her life. There are days that I have to fight to have her come visit me. It hurts. I had to threaten her with her father's potential of getting a contempt of court charge because she wanted to go to a rodeo where she would be ignored and allowed to roam wherever she wanted putting herself at risk for harm.

I spent my evening swimming with my boyfriend and his daughter. He came and got me and my girls. He cooked me an awesome dinner. He also bought me a couple packs of smokes. I get him alone on Sunday and Monday evening. I have to help him pack for his return trip to his job. It is hard to let someone so precious go every two weeks but my heart keeps growing more and more fond of him. He is really incredible so it is all worth the wait.

Back To School

2010-08-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Charter. All opinions are 100% mine.

School is starting soon. My daughters will start school next week. One child is looking forward to it while the other does not want to start school in the same place. She wants a fresh new start where she does not have to deal with her situation on the home front. I do understand that one. Although I live in an area that does not offer Charter, I would love to see how their internet services work. I encourage others to check them out.

Charter has many contests and giveaways that have often thrilled me about their product. The current giveaway is the laptop-a-day giveaway. Charter is giving away 50 lap tops to two great schools in order to get into the spirit of going back to school. Be sure to nominate your favorite school. Students of all ages are in need of those laptops. What a great way to get great internet service! You can enter your school for a chance to win fifty of these fabulous lap tops. You can enter automatically by ordering their services and win a chance to win three hundred bucks. With school starting, we could all use that money. You can also check out other Charter offers by going to their Charter on Facebook.

Please Understand

2010-08-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

Sadly my financial situation has forced me back into blogging for pay. I know that it is irritating and harsh. I have to support myself, my ex husband and his girlfriend. Yes it is sad but it is a sad fact of a corrupt judicial system in Wilbarger county. I will still continue to write about stuff regarding adoption, adoptees and their rights. I will have to through in a couple of ads every now and then to pay for my situation.

It is a way to supplement my income. Every aspect of my life has been under a microscope. I am no longer hiding. I will be writing now from a perspective of a potential birth parent as well as an adoptee. This is all due to an ex husband who is a control freak, alcoholic, abuser, and a cheater. He was angry that I was the fifth wife that left him. He is the serial marrying kind. He has not spent one day alone without a woman by his side since he was 19. I know that I was a fool. Better a fool than a lost soul.

A Southern Treat

2010-08-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Memphis Travel. All opinions are 100% mine.

I have always wanted to go to Memphis, Tennessee. I love the romantic and humid aura of the south. I know that I live in Texas. It is the south but there is something about Tennessee with its mountains, music and history that I love. Books have been written about Memphis. It is the home of Elvis Presley. It is where his music started. Country Music is also a huge business up there as well. I love the beauty of the wild life of the state as well. The plant life is absolutely beautiful. It has that peace and serenity.

I was looking at the Memphis-savvy travel guide . I have to admit that I am intrigued by the possibility of traveling to Memphis for a delightful vacation for my daughters and I. As I looked over that website, I noticed that they were offering free trips and giveaways for Memphis. You can enter to win a trip package. I put in my information immediately. It would nice to win such a trip to such a wonderful place. I would love to do it as a family. If not, I can do it with my boyfriend and his daughter. That would be such great fun.

A Formal Notice

2010-08-15T16:17:00.000-07:00

This is to give formal notice to Vicki that she must cease and desist. All emails, internet commentary, phone calls, and letters are now being forwarded to law enforcement. As noted on my personal blog , Musing Mother , Motherhood Deleted and others, evidence is being collected and being turned over. It is enough to alarm others. They have reported it to their law enforcement agencies.

For those that are getting this commentary, please let one of us know. Go ahead and publish them as they will be documented. I know that these comments are scary. Please do not spare our feelings as we are very aware of what is going on. She goes by the name of Blue Clue, CUB Mom, Candy Cane, and Indianna Friend. If you see this, please publish it and forward it to me, Musing Mother or Motherhood Deleted. We are working to resolve the issue.

My Girls

2010-08-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

I find myself quietly listening to them talk. I don't respond like I used to. I have to be this way because if I don't, I will get defensive. Defensive is not a good thing. Fighting back from that posture has put me already behind. I understand that I must be proactive. That is why I keep every email and text message from my girls and their father. It is all documented proof of what is going on.

I have to deal with many sides to this. His mother blasts me in front of the girls. I can't get away from that. I have to deal with him playing mind games and lying. I have to deal with him breaking the judge's orders. I have to pay the price of all of it.

The whole situation is so unfair and corrupt that I do not even know where to begin to fight it. Since my email account was hacked through illegal means, I have learned to immediately delete any and every email that I might send. I have learned to quietly listen instead of responding in angry tones. I have learned to record phone calls despite it all.

I have been quietly continuing my battle despite what others believe that I have been conquered. I have not been. I will not give up on my daughters.

Back Again

2010-08-15T13:36:00.000-07:00

I have not written since April. I had not realized that it had been that long. I have been busy in the battle of my life. I am on the losing end of it. One of the many hard lessons that I have learned through adoption is that corruption reigns supreme. No matter how hard you look into it, it just keeps getting deeper and deeper.

I see a great deal of adoptee bloggers these days. I have been reading them. One of my best friends, Musing Mother, wrote something, "Isn't It Ironic." This was a zinger that many adoptees are upset about.

I know that there are women who do not desire contact with the children they surrendered. I believe that there will be more of them as time goes by, and people see, hear and read some of the things that adopted adults have to say about them, or they realize how difficult and painful reunion can be. And, I am sure that there are some women who have, indeed, hidden this secret for almost a half a century. But, come on! Does anyone REALLY believe that they called the NCFA and whined to Chuck for protection? I don't think so.

I am not criticizing any thing that Musing Mother wrote. After having written about adoption and its effect on adoptees and their families for the last four years, I have developed an opinion. I am one of those adoptees whose first mother denied contact. I was hurt by the initial action on this. I was not given my original birth certificate because she denied contact. I also have reason to doubt what was said and done on my behalf. I think it even raised the hackles of an adoption attorney in Indiana. Just like my first mother was not given choices, neither was I. If I had been read the adoption file prior to contact, I would have changed the direction and had my first father contacted first. That way I could have been guaranteed her information. I would have been given access to my file. I could have made contact with her giving her the support and love that she needed to make the transition that I have made.

Hind sight is always 20/20. Looking back over my writings, maybe some of them would have scared her but I think not. I think it was her own actions at that time that gave her pause. She was cruel to my first father. Although I understand it, it is still not right to have denied me.

Four and half years later, I no longer feel so abandoned. I am one of the lucky ones in that I had a great adoptive family. I still do. My adoptive family is a group of female lionesses that protect each other. Every possible fear that I can imagine has been faced.

I am actually now okay with the fact that she doesn't want contact from me. I am not angry at her for it. I am not hurt any longer. It was her choice. I honestly believe that she did not realize what ramifications her choice did to me. If a person doesn't know any better, how can they really have any accountability in this mess called adoption?

One of the comments left behind by an anonymous adoptee as well as other adoptees is that they want the mothers to be accountable for their choices. Some of them should be but many others I disagree. I know too many women who didn't have a choice in the adoption of their child. I believe the sixties were extremely cruel to women. I think today society is still cruel to women and their children. I know because I experienced it.

Learning about Skin Care

2010-04-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Dermajuv Skin Care Products. All opinions are 100% mine.

I am looking forward to the day when I can earn a decent paycheck. I look forward to buying make up for my daughters and I. I also wanted to find a better moisturizer along with a good cleansing system for my skin. I am a forty four year old woman. My skin still sometimes acts like that of a teenager. I did not have a great deal of acne when I was a teenager but I am getting acne now. It could be the amount of stress that I am under these days. I am always interested in new products that tackle the aging of my skin as well as the acne with my skin. I want a make up that helps the skin care products as well. So I am always doing what I can to learn about the new technology involved in these products. Since I have not been active in learning this new stuff, I am having to push myself hard and fast to keep up with all of it. It is all about taking care of me these days. That is a big gig for me. I have always put others before me. Call it the mother in me.

Illinois Needs Help

2010-04-10T06:24:00.000-07:00

I know that I have not written much about adoption lately. I have been embroiled in a horrible situation. If certain individuals succeed, I will lose everything that I hold dear. I am still fighting hard and strong. I believe that justice will prevail in this situation.

I wanted to give a shout out to the Illinois folks. They need our help. It seems that Sara still does not quite understand the severity of the issue at hand. She is pushing a bad bill through again. It contains a disclosure veto.

You can read more about it on The Daily Bastardette and 73 Adoptee. They have the latest updates on what is going on in the state of Illinois.

If you live in Illinois but adopted someplace else, please step up and help these folks out. They need to start realizing that the right to privacy does not exist for any one any more. I know because my privacy has been violated on so many levels.

Weather

2010-04-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

The weather for this year has been odd to say the least. This area has received more snow that it has in years past. It has also received. I know that many others have also received this kind of odd weather as well. This kind of moisture reeks havoc on all kinds of homes. My old house is now probably shifting even more. The crack running through the center of the house is probably more pronounced. My STBX is probably cussing that house even more so. He has said on numerous occasions that the house needs to be demolished and rebuilt.

I am currently living in a well maintained apartment complex. I really like my apartment because it was the lowest priced in town plus it comes with a fireplace. I look forward to spending quiet nights with my daughters in front of that fireplace. I also need to learn to weatherproof my apartment so that my energy bill does not go through the roof. Many other places also have to deal with Waterproofing Basement Walls. I had several friends this past winter complain about water getting into their basements because of the massive amount of rainfall. I hope that I do not have to worry about that myself this year.

Natural Mom's Video

2010-01-23T09:48:00.000-08:00

I'M LEGIT

2010-01-23T09:46:00.000-08:00

An Important Announcement from Bastard Nation

2010-01-20T05:50:00.000-08:00

According to the Daily Bastardette, Bastard Nation has issued an important statement on the status of Haitian orphans entering the United States. Indiana Open as well as Texans for Adult Adoptees OBC Access supports their efforts in making sure that these children are protected.

Please distribute freely

For the last week, Bastard Nation, like the rest of the world, has been watching the devastation of Haiti. The images are frightening, sad, and heartrending, especially those of the children.

We have also watched with alarm the rush to rescue Haitian children by adoption. Within three days of the earthquake, Catholic Charities of Miami had set up a scheme modeled on Operation Pedro Pan, a joint State Department-CIA-Miami Diocese project in the early 1960s to separate children from their parents, creating young pawns in the US war against the Castro government. Although “Operation Pierre Pan” in Haiti is on hold, at least for now, numerous evangelical churches and ministries, adoption agencies, secular organizations, unfinalized adoptive parents and other individuals--many with conflicts of interest--have joined the rescue mission call to remove children immediately, no matter what their family status, to the US for the purpose of adoption.

Haiti is still under rubble. Aid is slow to arrive. Survivors are spread out in shelters and camps, or live in the streets. The dead are unnumbered, unknown, and unnamed. Family members continue to search for each for other, and it will take weeks or even months for final conciliation.

The rush to relocate orphans, quasi-orphans, and potential orphans internationally is ripe for coercion and fraud. Adoption agencies, church agencies, and ministries especially--along with fraudulent and predatory “child welfare” agents--have much to gain from fast removal. The trafficking of Haitian children for sex, servitude, and adoption operated in Haiti before the quake. It certainly operates now. The unethical and possibly unlawful mass transfer of traumatized children, many with family status unknown, to foreign shelters, foster care, and adoption agencies, removed from their culture and language, with little hope of family reunification cannot be allowed or tolerated. We urge US State Department and other US authorities in Haiti to (1) remove private special interests and those with conflicts of interest, such as adoption agencies and ministries, from the child welfare decision-making process and (2) halt the evacuation of children and their placement for adoption in the US.
We also urge the State Department to suspend pending adoptions. Haitian paperwork is lost or destroyed. Rock Cadet, the judge most responsible and knowledgeable about pipeline cases, died in the quake. Though the US Embassy survived, US paperwork is probably unavailable for some time, if it still exists. Without proof of Haitian court or Embassy status, any adoption removal from the country, without thorough background investigation and due process, is illegal and not in the best interest of the child

Needless to say, no new adoptions should be processed.

In the post-quake chaos, children need protection from predatory snatchers. Bastard Nation, therefore, supports the expedited removal of Haitian children, orphans or otherwise, to credible and documented parents or family members in the US for temporary or permanent placement depending on the circumstances. These children must not be assumed adoptable and scooped up for fast-track adoption. They should be a top priority. We urge the State Department or other government or credible private and disinterested agencies to assist Haitians in the US to locate child kin and bring them to the US.
We understand why people want to open their arms and hearts to the children of the Haitian earthquake, but adoption is not emergency or humanitarian aid or a solution to Haiti’s ongoing problems. The immediate rescue effort in Haiti should focus on emergency services, individual and family care and family reunification, not family, community, and cultural destruction and the strip-mining of children.

This statement has been faxed to the US State Department.

We Are Still Here

2010-01-12T14:54:00.001-08:00

I apologize for not keeping everyone updated on the current events happening in Indiana and the nation as far as adoption, adoptee rights, and their families are concerned. I have had other issues distracting me that out weigh the importance of adoption and its issues. I hate that it is doing this. I promise to be a little more dedicated in the months ahead.

Please read the current legislative information going on in the Indiana General Assembly at Indiana Open. I have shut down the email lists for both Indiana Open and Coleman Moms and Babes because they were very inactive. I still have the Facebook and MySpace pages for Indiana Open as well as the Coleman Moms and Babes Myspace. So please stay tuned for further information. I promise to be more active in regards to the news.

Dreaming Big

2009-11-06T08:57:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to finish up my education for years. I have tried many times to get it going again. I have failed numerous times. I am in the process of getting things together to apply again. For this situation, I am going for something very specific. I want to receive my registered nursing degree. It will start out as an associate’s degree. I look forward to putting that degree upon my wall in one of those gorgeous diploma frames.

I know that right now that I am highly educated. Most of my education has come from the school of hard knocks. That type of education does not allow me to get the job that I want to help raise my daughters in a healthy environment. It does not allow me to get them the very things that they desire and deserve. I also want my daughters to have a great education. With that degree, I will be able to get them that education. I want them to be able to place their diplomas and degrees in one of those beautiful college diploma frames. I want them to have the world. For me, that means that I have to get a degree in order for them to achieve their goals.

The Demons In Adoption Award Winner

2009-11-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this year's winner for the Demon in Adoption Awards? Its Bethany Christian Services. I personally believe that it is a well deserved reward.

According to the article:

Anti-abortion pregnancy counseling centers have been a growing phenomenon since their invention in the early 1970's and are one of the main suppliers of infants for the adoption industry. With more than 1100 anti-abortion pregnancy counseling centers, Heartbeat International is one of the largest supply chains of infants. Three out of the five aforementioned, Angel in Adoption receiving centers, is an affiliate of Heartbeat International, and so is the subject of this article, Bethany Christian Services.

Of course they also did the Sixteen and Pregnant on MTV recently as well where they showed an exchange happening on the street corner. I have heard repeated stories where they coerce women out of their children. They make false promises of open adoptions. They let the openness in those adoptions fail.

Congratulations for being the Demon in Adoption.

Time to Get Ready

2009-09-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

It is time to get ready for the next Indiana legislative session. The Adoptee Rights Demonstration included a few state legislators from Indiana. It is time to start contacting them again. I know that it is a painful process. I know that it is a time consuming process but we have to start doing it. It really does not bother me anymore. I can afford to take the time to get those letters written. I am a stay at home mother that home schools. I can get it done. Indiana Open is here to support all adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents who want to achieve this goal.

It just takes a couple hours out of a person's day. You can do it on the weekend. We have to remind them that we are still here and we are still fighting. We have the statistics on our side. We have the data on our side. We can do this. Here are a few examples of what to remind the legislators of:

In the state of Oregon alone, abortion rates decreased 10-18% when adoptees were allowed access to their original birth certificates. In fact, there was no federal mandates or legislation issued during the first five years after the bill was enacted.
Right to privacy is not the same as right to confidentiality. These are two separate issues. Only time that anyone is guaranteed confidentiality is under HIPAA. A birth certificate is not a medical document. It is a government document that records someone's birth.
The right to privacy means the right to be left alone. With a contact preference form, a birth parent can disclose their preference to the adoptee without the adoptee being denied their privacy rights under the United States Privacy Act of 1974. The federal government does guarantee that every citizen has a right to access the documents that it has on its citizens. The exception, though not stated in this Act, is adoption. Adoption is a state issue, not a federal issue. The right to privacy also means the right to be free from governmental interference as decided in Roe vs. Wade and Griswold vs. Connecticut.
We are a country of majority, not a country of minority. If a majority of the people want adoptee access, then the country should give its adopted citizens that right. 90% plus of birth parents support their relinquished son's or daughter's right to access their original birth certificate.
The very people opposed to adoptee access are also the ones that were opposed to the sealing of those records.
If a woman relinquishes a child but the child is never adopted, the original birth certificate is never sealed.
Birth parents are also denied access to the documents that they have signed.

Will you join us in this fight to restore the dignity of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents?

Lately

2009-09-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been concentrating on other issues besides adoption. I know! I know! Adoption encompasses many things besides the topic itself. Adoption also involves women's health issues, children's issues, reproductive choice (abortion vs. adoption), and so much more. Adoption is such a hot button issue as a result of all of these other issues.

I write five different blogs. It is sometimes difficult to keep up with all of them. I tend to concentrate on the sites that make me money so that I can continue to support adoptees and their families in our online community.

I have been very interested in the health care reform issue. I honestly believe that if women had access to decent health care that we would not have the problems that we have with abortion and adoption. I think that universal health care will reduce these numbers. That is something that I would like to see done.

Adoptees are often blamed for increases in abortion when the true reality according to the Alan Guttmacher Institute and others is that women abort because they just do not have the money to support a child. I quote this directly from their site:

Most U.S. women cite more than one factor contributing to their decision to have an abortion: Almost three-quarters say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about three-quarters say they cannot afford to have a child; and almost half say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner.

Adoptees have enough to deal with at times without the added responsibility for the future reproductive choices of women in the United States. Adoptees are often told to be grateful that they were not aborted. That is one of the most horrible things to say to any adoptee.

It amazes me that many in the pro-life movement and pro-choice movement ignore these valuable bits of information. I have to give credit to the pro-choice movement. They are starting to recognize the coercive tactics that are often used on pregnant women in this country. It is also dependent on which state but the pro-life movement is starting to do the same. The difference between the two is that the pro-life movement is still very dependent on crisis pregnancy centers across this country. The adoption industry is heavily connected to these centers as well. Bethany Christian Services is the worst culprit.

The adoption industry is a massive multi-billion dollar business that is unregulated. There are attempts to regulate it but they are just band-aids in reality. Adoption needs a massive overhaul so that all parties are protected. Birth mothers are being coerced out of their children. Adoptees are denied access to their original birth certificates. Adoptive parents are being scammed out of their funds and their dream. We have to make changes to the system.

There is no doubt that it will be a painful process in order to change things. It is a process that we all need to go through.

Demons In Adoption

2009-09-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

For those who have not voted yet, there is still time for you to vote on Pound Pup Legacy for the Demons in Adoption Awards. The list is mighty impressive as it is every year. You can vote here today. My favorite is LDS Family Services for what they have done to a family here in my local.

Each year Pound Pup Legacy presents the Demons of Adoption Award to raise a voice against adoption propaganda and the self congratulatory practices of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute's annual Angels in Adoption Awards^TM

Until October 30 you will have the opportunity to vote for the recipient of this year's award.

The nominees are:

Adoptions First for offering of a free birth mothers package;
Athanasios Kollias aka Teo for the involvement in various Guatemalan child trafficking cases;
Barnardos for promoting the removal of children and have them adopted as the solution to family breakdown;
Bethany Christian Services for using coercive tactics obtaining infants for their customers;
Deborra-Lee Furness for pushing laxer regulations in inter-country adoption;
Harry and Bertha Holt for starting the placement of "special needs children" who are truly not adoptable, into the homes of already huge families;
Independent Adoption Center for plugging their business on WE tv's Adoption Diaries, making them the non-denominational Bethany;
Joint Council on International Children's Services for supporting temporary movement of foreign children to America because such trial-basis "exchange" programs "help" the adoption process;
LDS Family Services for using coercive tactics in obtaining infants for adoption and for not respecting paternal rights;
Scott and Karen Banks for child trafficking, coercive adoption practices and the abandonment of their adopted children;
The Dutch Ministry of Justice for preventing research into corrupt adoption practices in China, because of diplomatic and business relations with that country;
The Malawi Government for allowing Madonna to adopt Mercy James;

Adoptee Rights Demonstration: From Nola To Philly!

2009-07-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

Here is the latest video from the Adoptee Rights Demonstration. Next year they are coming to our state. Yep Indiana Folks stand up and pay attention. They are coming to Louisville. Our turf! We can do this. We can make it bigger than Philly and New Orleans combined. Are you excited? You should be. I know that I am. I will be there on my home turf.

Here is another way to help the ARD to raise funds.

Listen up! We need EVERYONE'S help to spread the word about the Adoptee Rights Demonstration, and maybe even help the protest win $200 to go towards expenses for next year's rally!

There's a slide show up on Youtube with pictures from the protests in New Orleans and Philadelphia. The link is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4DQ5iDDEuA

We need EVERYONE to do these three things at the link above:

1.) Rate the video

2.) Add it to your favorites

3.) Leave a comment

Doing these three things all count as 'votes' at Youtube. With enough votes, we'll be pushed to the front of the Nonprofits and Activism page, which will raise awareness about the protest and our issue.

Done? OK next steps!!

Head on over to AdoptionVoices.com and repeat the steps above

http://adoptionvoices.com/video/from-nola-to-philly-the

1.) Rate the video

2.) Add it to your favorites

3.) Leave a comment

These three items all count as votes there as well.

AdoptionVoices is having a contest, and the video with the most votes will win $200. This would be a HUGE help to the protest, as our permit expenses for Louisville will be much higher than at protest-friendly Philadelphia.

Please help!

Thank you!

Ann Fessler's Everlasting

2009-07-23T11:51:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of Ann Fessler? She is the adoptee who wrote "The Girls Who Went Away." If you have not read her book, you must do so. She wrote this book from a place of complete compassion for the birthmothers of yesterday. She put out this video here recently. I am hoping to draw more attention to her fabulous work.

As a Coleman adoptee, this woman helped me to understand exactly what my birthmother went through during her time at Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers. I have heard from several Coleman mothers and also heard their stories up close and personal. This maternity home was no different than many of the homes across America.

Her book opened many doors for adoptees across this country. I believe that it is a book that every adoptee, birthmother, and adoptive parent should read. I have met so many people that do not have any compassion or care for many of these women. They have to see that these women did not have choices prior to the years of Roe vs. Wade. That many of these women were coerced every step of the way. These women if they had been giving the choices of today would have chosen to raise their sons or daughters.

In this video by Ann Fessler, she shows that with many of the women that she has interviewed over the years. She also shows the coercion, the falsification of documentation, the mythology of the adoption industry, and so many other issues with these women's stories. She shows that these birthmothers were not the sluts, whores, crack addicts, and drug addicts as the adoption industry loves to depict. They were and are still today reproductive members of our society. You would be startled at how many of them are so much more than this mythology. These birthmothers are not shrinking violets but strong, powerful, beautiful, intelligent, and gracious women.

Ann Fessler has done many things for the movement of adoptee rights. She has pushed forward and dispelled many of these myths. I for one thank her for the immense help that she has given adoptees and their families.

Adoptee Rights Demonstration Video 2009

2009-07-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

This is an awesome video made by a great young lady. She created this video from pictures at the Adoptee Rights Demonstration at the National Conference of State Legislators in Philadelphia this past week. She did an awesome job if you ask me. She is a very talented young woman.

We ask all those living adoption join us in the fight to end the discrimination that American adult adoptees face in forty four states in the United States. Next demonstration will be in Louisville, Kentucky. We ask that you attend this next year.

Amyadoptee introduces a New Store!

2009-07-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

I have had friends suggest that I write a book. I have taken that step. I have written one about my experiences with adoption, my search ideas, and my tips for activism. In the appendices of the book are groups and organizations that have the same goals and offer support for all positions in the adoption plane. I also have the current laws as of today. When each state is updated or changed, I will make the necessary changes to the book.

You can find the store here. This website also allows me to let others sell stuff as well. I can currently list up to twenty items on the store site. I plan on writing a total of three books. Each one is dedicated to each group living adoption. I get questions daily asking how to check out an agency. I get questions asking how to fight back against the system. I also get questions on how to do a search. This first book answers the questions for the adoptee. The subsequent books will address the issues of both adoptive parents and birth parents.

This first book is about my story and my research. It is the tips that I used in my search. It is the very tips that other adoptees have used. I have helped adoptees, birthmothers, and yes adoptive parents search for each other. I wrote this book to help others. My personal experiences with my search have colored my adoption. I did not have a problem with it until I searched. The same applies to my adoptive mother and sisters. Because of my research, my adoptive mother is more aware of what I had to deal with. I know that my adoptive father, Frank Stoll, is standing behind me on this as well. I know in my heart that he is proud of this daughter.

Despite my experience in my search, I do not want to discourage any adoptee, birth parent, or adoptive parent from searching. I hope you enjoy it. The money will go towards my goal of hiring Kinsolving. I want to control my destiny. I also want to return that control to both of my birth parents.

Right now there is only one item but be on the look out for other additions. I enjoy working with crafts as do many adoptees. I hope this will be an excellent little shop for everyone.

Gone Fishing

2009-06-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

For the time being, my blog posts will be somewhat scant. I have decided to take an extended break for my husband and daughters. Other than the utter stupidity that is adoption, I will be mentioning things other than adoption. Many of these issues will skirt the outer edges of adoption. Health reform, abortion, access to reproductive health and other similar issues will be the ones that I discuss. My goal is to take care of my family.

I will resume many of the adoption posts soon. Adoption disgusts me personally now. It is not about families nor the children. It is about the self serving image of others. So while I take my break, please enjoy these other blog posts. It gives you a clue into how I am thinking.

Birthmother vs. Adoptive Mother

2009-06-15T10:06:00.001-07:00

I recently got criticized for searching for my birth mother. The person made an erroneous comment on the fact that I must not love my adoptive mother if I am searching. I really thought this person got adoption. I guessed wrong. She recently used that as an excuse to dismiss my adoptive mother’s asthma as insignificant. I saw nothing but red with that comment alone. I know that I will not forgive that person any time soon. I will no longer allow that person back into my life.

This is what many outside of adoption do not understand. Some adoptees did have a bad experience with their adoptive parents. I am by no means dismissing their experiences. Understand one thing with ME. I love my adoptive mother. Between her and my birthmother friends, I would not have survived my search. She is the one that kept having faith in a woman who is obviously filled with fear if what I was told was the truth. If it was not the truth, then we still have hope in a woman who will make contact.

I really hate it when people like this individual make assumptions about others. My adoptive mother is extremely proud of the fact that I am standing up and not letting the adoption machine run me over. In fact, she is wanting a copy of the adoption decree as she never received a copy of it. All that my adoptive parents received was my amended birth certificate once the adoption was complete.

If you are a friend of an adoptee, do not dismiss their experience. Do not assume that an adoptee does not love either set of parents. Do not assume that because they want to search that they do not love their adoptive parents. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ADOPTIVE PARENTS. It is about understanding who they are as a person. It is about understanding one’s identity. It takes a lot of gall on the part of individual to dismiss an adoptee’s experience. This coming from someone who has their ancestry. This is coming from a person who knows who her children are. This is coming from a person who knows who their parents are. I really hate ignorance such as hers.

It is a huge insult to adoptees and their families all over the country. It is a huge dismissal of those families. We make up ten percent of the population when an individual does this to one person. This kind of commentary continues to reflect negatively on the adoption community.

I would like to see someone take her identiy and tell her that she can not have access to it any longer. She could not contact her parents or her children. I wonder how quick she would shut up. She would probably scream holy hell. Honestly I think that she should just mind her own business.

Taking Things off the Beaten Path

2009-06-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

David Carradine died recently of horrific circumstances. After learning more about the situation, I honestly wish that he had committed suicide. That is just as bad but I feel that he would have his honor still intact. I feel that his privacy has been invaded in a very humiliating way. This information should have never been leaked to the press.

David Carradine was a tremendous actor. I loved him in Kill Bill Volumes One and Two. He was aweseome. I have often enjoyed many of his westerns as well. He was a great actor. It is sad to see him so humiliated like he has been.

If he had a dark side to his life, it was really no one's business. It feels like someone is trying to hurt his reputation as an actor. Why do we need to know that most intimate details of someone's life and death? We don't. I feel for his family. I feel for his real life friends.

This whole saga about the end of his life is just sad and pathetic. I would have rather remembered him as a great man than what the end of his life was. I do not blame the family for wanting the FBI to step in. There is just something that is wrong with this picture.

Sorry I have been wanting to say that for a long time.

Does Adoption Equal Slavery?

2009-06-10T05:45:00.000-07:00

It has started to be a hot debate over at Firstmother Forum. Although I can see the argument on both sides of this issue. I tend to favor the side that it is similar to slavery. There is a reason why I feel this strongly. We are held to a contract that we did not consent to. We are denied access to our heritage, our identity, and other vital information.

At the same time, I can not call my adoptive mother a slave owner but I could with my adoptive fathers. The first adoptive father considered me replaceable. He did this at the age of five for me. I was merchandise that he bought and discarded very easily. It still irritates me to this day. I know that he was just showing up my adoptive mother. I still do not like being his pawn even to this day.

My second adoptive father probably thought that I was a bad seed. Those things get very old after a while. I feel like property of someone and of the state. That really irritates me as a whole.

Where adoptive parents are to blame for this thinking amongst both birthparents and adoptees is that they do not stand up and fight for the rights of their children. If you truly love your adopted child, you would do that now while they are young and even into adulthood. I am not saying all adoptive parents by any means. I am friends with adoptive parents that do exactly that. There are huge organizations such as PEAR that do support that right of their children. It is the others that I am speaking to. Those that still continue to adopt from agencies that promote closed adoptions. Those that still continue to adopt from agencies that fight to keep those records sealed. Those are the adoptive parents that I am speaking to.

If you have chosen to adopt from any of the NCFA adoption agencies, you are wrong. These adoption agencies promote an unequal agenda that protects only themselves. They do not seek to protect you. That is where those adoptive parents must stop listening to the likes of the NCFA. The legislators are continuing in this negative belief themselves when they vote against adoptee/birthparent access.

Adoptee rights has nothing to do with abortion. Many of the legislators are holding us accountable for the future reproductive choices of American women. It is not my responsibility to worry about that. It is unreasonable for the legislators to continue to do so. That is putting too much emotional burden on children. That attitude needs to go by the wayside.

It is also not the child or adult adoptee’s responsibility to be held accountable for the actions of adults. It is time to end this fallacy. I do not know if we ever will as long as adoptive parents allow the agencies to have this much control.

This is where we need to change the thinking. Adoption is not win/win/win. It is based on loss.

My Apologies

2009-06-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not keep up with this blog. I have been distracted with my adoptive mother's illness, Texas legislation, and a potential affair on the part of my husband. I have been busy trying to take care of all of those issues. As a result, there are several aspects of my life that have been left to suffer from neglect. I apologize to my readers for that.

I really wanted to take a break from adoption period. It has gotten to a point where it is nauseating at the very best to utter vomit in other parts. I believe Ethiopia will be the next Guatemala. I am at a point where I can not control everything. So I am slowing down taking care of myself and my daughters. My husband had better get his head of his butt soon.

So I apologize again to my readers for my lack of attention to many of the details of adoption. Those issues are still very much there. There are excellent whispers in Indiana of a potential bill. I thank God that Indiana does appear to be more progressive than Texas. So keep hope and fingers crossed so that we can make changes.

Take Care one and all.

Green Ribbon Ca mpaign

2009-05-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

The Green Ribbon Campaign has launched their website today. It is a beautiful website. It has many powerful bits of information on it. My honest to God favorite is this one:

"Long after we reach the age of 21, adoptees are treated as children by the law. Unable to participate in the decision that forever altered the course of our lives as children, we are, as adults, forbidden even to review the decisions that were made on our behalf, supposedly for our welfare. In some states, the biological parent who was persuaded to relinquish us as an infant is consulted to determine if we may know the truth of our origins. The facts of one's birth are among the most intimate details of one's life but if you are adopted, that information is closed to you in most states."

That says it all real clear and concise. It does not get any straighter than that. So make sure you stop and give them a shout out. If you have a blog, make sure that they are linked.

Once Upon A Time

2009-05-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

Many many moons ago, my mother, sisters and I trekked across Texas and the southern states to visit a great aunt and uncle in Florida. While we visited, she took us to Disney World in Florida. I had just graduated from high school. We have moved to San Marcos for my father’s job as a center manager with a major package delivery company. This was well over twenty years ago. My memories might be a little faded. I remember her purchasing the OrlandoFunTickets.com at the gate. The very first ride that we all went on was “It’s A Small World.” It was water ride back then. I do not know if it is still today. I remember Disney World as being massive. My great and uncle went on couple of the rides with us but by the afternoon, they left us to our own devices. Even at eighteen years of age, that park is wild and beyond all imagination. You really do not realize it until you visit it for the first time. I remember one ride which was a roller coaster ride in a mountain type environment. I could not tell you what the ride was. It was fast and wild. I remember my mother purchased a Hurricane drink. She let all of us taste it. It was the tastiest drink that I had ever had. I doubt that it was full fledged Hurricane drink as they serve in many bars. It sure tasted good. I remember walking through that park being in utter awe of all of its festivities. As an adult now, it is something that I would dearly love to take my daughters to. I wish that I could purchase OrlandoFunTickets.com to take them to Disney World in Florida. That day ended up being a girls day out. Even then those days were few and far between. It was the closeness of family that made that day so special. It is also the magic of Disney that brings it all together. I did not know what the Disney tickets cost then but there are ways today to make it less expensive. OrlandoFunTickets.com makes it easy to afford a great getaway for your family. So if you are looking for a great weekend or even a day of fun, check out OrlandoFunTickets.com today and make a dream come true for you family.

A Voice in Texas for Adoptees

2009-05-07T13:32:00.001-07:00

Yep, I know that I am busy enough with Indiana. However, Texas adoptees and their families need a big boost. They are not getting with the groups currently in place. Texans for Adult Adoptees OBC Access was formed to help with that issue. I formed the group yesterday. I am already getting an overwhelming response. I am hoping to get additional help with it. We need a great deal of help killing SB 499, SB 1277, and HB 4470.

The Texas state legislators need to realize that adult adoptees are not commodities nor are they children. We are adults that should have the same rights as every Texan. We should not be treated differently because the status of our birth. We do welcome all types of folks from all walks of life. We do want to eliminate adoption agencies in the mix. Sorry I know that there are few that support the cause but I have to protect the membership. Adoptive parents are most definitely welcome as well as birth parents.

Our email list is strictly an activism list. We do have folks on the list that will be glad to help you search. I want to mention The Registry and The Soaring Angels groups for search help. They are good at what they do. I am also members of both of them. I also want to mention that Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change is another excellent source for support and search help. So come one and come all. We welcome you with open arms.

What a Shame!

2009-05-07T13:21:00.000-07:00

A dear friend sent me this article today. I am always saddened when a young person loses their life. This story takes it a little further. This young girl, Dureti Bishop, is a beautiful young woman in her own right. She looks so vibrant, strong, and alive. What makes this story adoption related is that she was adopted from Ethiopia at the age of 5. Her parents discovered that she had child onset schizophrenia. I remember in the year that I was with the state hospital that it could be managed with medication. The adoptive parents eventually sent her to Boys Town. She later excelled at track and field events. She was also an avid reader.

My first problem with the article was that her adoption was a part of it. My second problem with the article is that her schizophrenia was also mentioned. Then the last thing is that she was at Boys Town. The fact that she excelled at her school work and her athletic abilities should have been all the article stated. There should not have been any mention of the other events in her life. We should be respecting her life, not the problems of it.

Rest in peace, my dear beautiful girl. God has taken you home.

Tarrant County Attorney Got Jail Time

2009-04-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

I have written about this attorney in the past. I had someone stoutly defending this woman. This woman did their divorce if I remember correctly. This story is not about divorce. It is about adoption. You do not want to be on the birth parent side of the law. It is different. You will be railroaded every time. It does not matter what you think or want. There is no guarantees of an open adoption for you. There is no guarantees that you will ever get to see your child again. According to the article, this woman forged the signature of a family court judge along with other forged documents as well. She was presenting these documents to other judges. She was sentenced to 180 days in jail along with being disbarred.

Where does this kind of corruption come from? It comes from sealed records. It comes from the secrecy that is now very inherent in adoption. This hurts those of us living adoption. Can you imagine what these adoptees will discover when they are old enough to view their records? What about the birth families in this situation? What about the adoptive families in the messes that she created? People get hurt by individuals such as these. So yea she could do your divorce perfectly but she can not do adoptions all that great. Money is the reason why people such as her get into trouble.

This is why there needs to be transparency in adoption. Oklahoma is finally passing a bill that makes the fees available to adoptive parents. It is about time that these fees are explained in detail. Keep in mind these fees for the adoption agencies do not include the fees of the adoption attorney. Those are separate as well. It is time to end the blindsiding of all living adoption. We have to make changes now. We can no longer wait to make these changes. At least this woman will not be able to work in the law field again. She will have a criminal mark on her record so she will not be able to open an adoption agency. She can not move to another state to do so either as she is no longer a licensed attorney.

You can not mess with adoption records. Everything has to be on the up and up. You have to follow certain procedures. You can not bypass someone because you want these easier so that you can collect more money. This is why we need to be checking out the folks who do adoption. We need to know that their motivations are pure. They must have a certain accountability to those living adoption. One down how many more yet to go? Lets hope more are shut down soon. I would prefer NCFA member agencies. Many of their founding agencies are the ones that have gotten us into this situation in this first place. LDS Social Services comes to mind on this issue in particular. Too many fathers are having their rights violated.

Why does adoption need to change?

2009-04-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

Adoption must change because it is becoming more and more about others instead of the children. It is about placing adoptive parents in competition with birthparents. It has become about the needs of the agency. It is about the need to profit. It is about the agency’s need to cover its proverbial rear end. It is no wonder that more and more examples of adoption corruption coming to light.

Recently in the news was a father who was trying to “sell” his child to the highest bidder. Of course, that story is not true but we do have other stories that are similar. Women who con adoptive parents are doing time for that kind of thing. If they know it is about the money, then how can it be any different for the adoption agencies?

We have to start changing the laws to reflect what adoption is about. Is adoption about the child or is about the money? Right now from what I have read, it is about the money. It is about scamming as many people as possible. Our state legislators let them get away with it. Adoption is a feel good thing. Is it really? I do not think so.

Confidentiality is there to protect the agencies. It is not there to protect it from anyone else. Why else would an adoption agency director leave adoption records in a building to be picked up by trash collectors? Why else would social workers violate the foster parent’s confidentiality because they have to remove a child from that home. That child was abusing other children in the home.

If you think about these things, it would not take you long to realize that adoption is not a good thing. It is not the panacea for abortion. Adoption comes with its own loss and problems. Until we can fix those problems, we can not fix even abortion to a point where it is a rare event.

DMC and Zara Phillips Making Sweet Music

2009-04-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

Darryl McDaniels is a hero of mine. He is using his talents to make a point in the New Jersey legislature. Darryl was one of the musical pioneers in Rap music. He is putting those raps to good use in helping adoptees attain equal rights in adoption. As many know, adoptees in 44 states do not have equal access to their original birth certificates. It is time for the legislators to consider adoptees more than just forever children and chattel of our adoptive parents.

He and Zara Philips have made a song together. These two have made the New York Times. The adoption agencies that fight this bill claim that they made a promise to these mothers of forever anonymity. What the state legislatures do not understand is that these agencies were not agents of the state governments. These agencies were not authorized to make promises to these mothers. You can not deny one person his rights and due process based on the fears of another. If that were the case our government would never have any laws.

If adoption carries the presumption of harm, why is the government in the practice of it? That is a question that has never been answered for me or any other adoptee across this country. The Privacy Act of the federal government states that all individuals have access to the documents that the government has on those individuals. It is a clear violation of the adoptee's right to privacy. Yes these mothers have the right to be left alone but these mothers do not have the right to deny an adoptee access to their own birth documents. This is point that the state legislators fail to realize. There is a massive difference between these two definitions of right to privacy. The governing entities need to step up and grant adoptees their rights and full citizenship.

Adult adoptees pay taxes, serve their country in wars, work for the government, raise their children, are married and many other mature responsibilites. It is time to restore our rights as humans. It is time to restore our human dignity. It is time to make adoptees equal citizens in the United States. As long as these laws exist, they will continue to diminish adoptees as property and chattel.

Adoptive parents need to realize that adoptee access is not about losing their child to the natural parents. It is about equal treatment under the law. The Civil Rights Movement of the Sixties gives us a Supreme Court Case that will back it up. Brown vs. Board of Education. We are tired of being treated separate under the law. Separate is not equal. We want equality. Adoptee access also protects the adoptive parents. It provides greater transparency for the adoptive parent. In this day and age, adoptive parents need that. Confidentiality protects none of the members living adoption. It protects the adoption industry at their own discretion. It is used arbitrarily.

It is time for everyone of us living adoption to stand up. We have to make these legislators aware that this "birthparent" privacy is just a myth.

WACSN in the news again.

2009-04-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

A news article alerted me to problems with Liberia and WACSN. This time they removed 35 children. Awhile back, WACSN was being investigated. I researched the adoption agency a little bit. The agency is in Minnesota. They operate an orphanage in Liberia. News came out recently that the orphanage was raided and 35 children were removed. I wonder if the state of Minnesota has bothered to investigate this agency. Maybe with this article they will. I know that the IRS needs to be paying attention to this mess.

One of the things that I noticed with this agency is the website. It is very poorly done. It belongs to a woman in Tennessee. Liberia temporarily halted all adoptions in January when this story came out. While this moratorium has been going on, there have been no Americans adopting from Liberia. Canada has ceased all adoptions from Liberia. This website really pushes religious beliefs onto an individual. If you happen to ask too many questions or have a difference of opinion, you might be considered as not Christian enough. That will get your application denied.

Tax documents are also lacking. The last one filed was in 2005 where they show earnings from direct support of $222,900. They list no income from adoptions since that time. I think that I smell a skunk in here somewhere. How can this organization not report its incomes for close to five years? Inquiring minds and all.

Here is a quote from the article that really concerns me as an adoptee:

“WACSN is a Minnesota nonprofit, according to federal tax records, and has been one of the leading U.S. adoption agencies in Liberia. It is not licensed as an adoption agency in Minnesota. Under state rules, organizations that arrange international adoptions are not necessarily required to have a state license.”

They are operating out of Minnesota but they do not have an agency license from Minnesota. They do have a business filing for the agency out of Eden Prairie. It is amazing that these agencies are allowed to continue when they have children removed from their care. It is amazing that the state of Minnesota has not investigated this agency too.

The missing tax records, the weird way that the website is set up, and the fact that they are not licensed in Minnesota is enough to send warning bells off in my head. I suggest all adoptive parents to look elsewhere to consider adopting from.

Samoan Adoptee in the News

2009-04-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

Everyone has heard about the Focus on Children and their crimes against both adoptive parents and “birthparents.” It disgusts me that these operators of this agency only got a slap on the wrists. The Banks were told never to work in the adoption industry ever again. Karen Bank’s sister still owns the business in Wyoming. I wonder if Karen and Scott Banks are still listed as board of directors. The Banks and Dan Wakefield are supposed to contribute to a trust fund that supports communications between the birth families in Samoa and the adoptive families in the United States. Maybe if they use the sale of their home in Wellsville, Utah, it will help cover the costs of phone calls, trips, and post office boxes for these families.

The Sawyers have been mentioned on several occasions in various news articles around the country. It was never their intent to adopt a child who had been bought for mere cans of tuna or bags of rice by the agency. They never intended that their adopted child to be kidnapped by the Banks or any of their affiliates.

Well the Sawyers are lucky. They get to reunite their daughter with her “birthparents” this summer. It is wonderful that this family has that opportunity. I commend an adoptive mother who is able to do this. I do know that there was an adoptive father that was worried that his child would be taken back to Samoa. He did not want the “birthparents” to have the legal jurisdiction to be able to do so. Keep a watch out for this reunion on ABC news this summer possibly late fall.

Keep in mind as well that Scott and Karen Banks are serial adoptive parents. What does that mean? It means that they have adopted many children. Two of their Samoan adoptees have been sent back to Samoa to be educated there instead of the United States. Why? Karen Banks could not bond with these two children. Scott and Karen Banks also put another child, Greg, in a group home because they did not want their family home to be scratched up by his walker and his wheel chair.

Another situation that everyone needs to be aware of is the Kirkpatrick family. This family had finalized a Chinese adoption of a baby girl. They needed respite care for their daughter as they also had twin boys to contend with at the same time. The Banks took this opportunity to snatch another adoptee for their collection of adoptees. China would not let them adopt as they had too many children. The appeal on this case was recently heard. The family is currently waiting for a decision from that court.

It is a shame that the Federal government could not investigated this agency further. They too have connections to Mai Ly LaTrace as she helped Focus on Children as a facilitator. There could also be issues with many of the Cambodia adoptions before they shut down that channel for adoptions. She is listed on their 1999 tax return as well. It is a shame that the Federal prosecuter did not take it any further.

Does Adoption set us up to be discriminated against?

2009-04-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

I do think that adoption does exactly this. It sets us to be treated differently. It does not matter if you are an adoptee, "birthmother", or an adoptive parent. It treats us differently. I point to adoptee access laws around the country as a perfect example.

These laws treat adult adoptees differently. Adult adoptees are treated as incapable of handling their own affairs with their family. I read somewhere that the California bill that lists that adult adoptees age 25 and older can have access to their original birth certificates. This age was decided because that is when an adult adoptee is capable of dealing with the facts of their adoption. Okay an 18 year old adoptee can fight in a war. An adult adoptee can vote at that age. An adult adoptee at age 18 can even be a parent. An adult adoptee is capable and legally responsible to sign a contract. How can they not be emotionally capable of handling the circumstances of their birth? I know. It does not make sense to me either. I have not be able to figure out that bit since adoptees deal with their adoption since their adoption legally occurred.

“Birthmothers” are legally able to relinquish their rights even as a minor. They do not need parental consent in order to do so. This is done so that the mother can relinquish their child without their parents’ knowledge and influence which is very unlike abortion. They want to make it as easy as possible for any female to relinquish. They want to do it without any kind of influences on the mother. They want to be the sole people that influences her to relinquish. Many times, the counseling that an expectant mother receives is the reading of a book. There are no extensive counseling services offered to her before or after. In this respect, adoptive parents are getting angry at the lack of counseling for the mothers. I have read this. I have even seen the complaints about this issue. The agencies then claim to protect the mothers after they relinquish. They just want to keep their dirty deeds secret. They want to keep the coercive tactics quiet.

Adoptive parents are also treated differently. They are treated incapable of handling the various aspects of adoption on their own. They are not allowed to collectively think outside the box. Truthfully, most adoptive parents do not want to kidnap someone else’s child. They do not want to be involved in illegal activities. This is why many adoptive parents are bucking the system. They are beginning to ask questions. They are being punished for their actions in their adoptions. If they ask too many questions, then they are told that they need additional counseling. This process is called “creaming.”

Who really controls the adoption industry? It seems that the states and the adoption agencies are in it together. I believe the states should act as a governmental regulatory agency where as the adoption agency should provide the service under the regulations of the government. The state governments no longer regulate adoption. It is time that it is brought under control without the influence of the adoption industry.

Illinois Confidential Intermediaries: Good or Bad?

2009-04-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

I pay attention to what goes on in Illinois, Michigan and Ohio because Indiana is sandwiched in the middle of all of it. Someone told me recently that the country does follow what Illinois does.. So I watch even further now as a result.

I posted some interesting information on Midwest Adoption Center. It is an organization that does confidential intermediary work for the state of Illinois. You know how adoptees can not be trusted with their personal information! It irritated me because it affected adoptees. If it affects adoptees, I pay attention. I mentioned that Nancy Golden is one of those that runs that organization. She according to Guidestar.org is paid a $100,000 a year. I do not even think Katrina Carlisle earns that much through her confidential intermediary work with St. Elizabeth Coleman.

I found a case that Nancy Golden was reprimanded on. That number is social worker license #150001566 on November 30, 1991 (date of expiriation). I find interesting when I used a certain deep web search tool that she has an older license where she was reprimanded on. She was allowed to let that license expire. She was allowed to get a new one (social worker clinicial license #149003006) where there is no reprimand listed on it. She violated client confidentiality on it. A foster care parent lost his job over this issue. He and his family filed a lawsuit and won. Now she is working with adoptees. I wonder if their confidentiality has been violated as well. No one noticed this first article.

Everyone knows that I personally do not like confidential intermediaries. This part of the searching process irritates because it continues to treat adoptees and their families as incapable of handling their own affairs. I believe that this woman is the key in the situation in Illinois. Illinois has a bill that allows the confidential intermediaries’ previous contacts to stand instead of the mothers writing into the state of Illinois to file a contact refusal.

You see with confidential intermediaries, you have to rely on them to do proper due diligence. You have no guarantee of it. They have their own set of rules that you are not allowed to know. Their standard operating procedures are anyone’s guess. When they get completed with your case, it is anyone’s guess if they did your case right. We are not talking about children making contact. We are talking adults here. These people affect your reunion. These people affect if you have a reunion. When you spending a thousand dollars to get this done, you want some kind of guarantee. If you are adopted, forget it. Its an oh well it sucks to me commentary. We have no way of fighting back against the system.

If you have someone like Nancy Golden as your confidential intermediary, you have no idea how much she will reveal about you to someone else. This is just another example of why it is time to end the discrimination that adoptees and their families face every day. It is the adoption industry that is keeping the shame, ignorance, and deception going.

Introducing Indiana Open's Social Networking Site

2009-04-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Indiana Open wanted to create a place where folks from Indiana could get together and organize ourselves. It is in one location. We all can create blogs, post videos, photos, create a forum, and chat all in one place. It is called Indiana Open Restoring OBC Access.

The official website is still open for business. We are now on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Smaller Indiana, Indiana Open's Petition, email list, and several other networking sites. We have a blo g, a forum, and a great information and links webpage. We have just recently added links to the blog of Indiana Open. We hope that you join us and help us fight the battle of adoptee rights in Indiana.

Madonna and Adoption Again

2009-03-31T14:50:00.000-07:00

This woman just sickens me. I was never a big fan anyway. I now turn off her music. I won't listen to it. This includes the stuff from the past when she was the "material" girl. She has become immaterial if you ask me. I do feel that she is buying Mercy. It gives the rest of the adoptive parents a really bad name. She has been quoted as saying that adopting a child is like giving birth. Excuse me again?

I hope Mercy's grandmother wins out on this one. We have an opportunity to do just that. Ethica has issued a call to action. It really won't take much. Just a few bucks from many members in the adoption community.

Here is the call to action issued by Ethica:

Ethica's Call to Action on the Mercy James Case*

Ethica is calling to action to raise funds to assist Mercy James to be cared
for within her country with her extended family of origin. The annual
average salary in Malawi is $160.00. If we provide those funds to the care
of Mercy James for the next 14 years, we believe not only could she stay
with her family, but she should also be able to be educated within her own
country. Therefore we are challenging the adoption community to help us
raise $2,240 for Mercy James.

Please read our entire statement on this subject and donate here:

http://ethicanet. org/item. php?recordid= malawi&pagestyle =default

So help Mercy stay in her country of origin. Lets tell Madonna that she doesn't have the money to buy this child. Tell Madonna to honor this child's grandmother's wishes.

How do you explain something that is brain tease?

2009-03-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

I am serious. How do you explain something that is confusing on its own merits and demerits? I have an adoption agency that has so many twists and turns that it is confusing just to me. I know all of the connections. How do you explain that each connection is a bad connection which is connected to even more bad connections? It blows my mind. Tedi Hedstrom was connected to so many bad people that I can not even begin to explain all of them. I am trying to do it in one chapter alone. I just don't think that I can do it. Someone please explain to me how.

Oh Wow is all I can say.

2009-03-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

A woman who is adopted was recently in the news. What makes her news story spectacular is that she is also an adoptive parent to eight children along with two natural children of her own. Evidently she has been searching for a while now. However this one comment stumped me.

"She advises other adopted children that they may be able find their records, but it might not be easy."

Uhm I hate to say this but I don't think I am a child anymore. Last I checked I was 43, able to vote, pay taxes, have served my country, am a parent and a wife. I should be allowed the same rights as the non adopted. Sorry I would rather have my original birth certificate and not have to pay a $1,000 in order to have my family contacted by an outside person.

Where is the puke bucket?

2009-03-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

I have just about flipped out today. I read this article about Orson Mozes pleading NOT GUILTY. Okay you ripped people off for over a million dollars. You pitted adoptive parents against each other. You promised the same child to several sets of prospective adoptive parents. You manipulated the hearts of families all over the country. You know you did wrong and you took off as a result. You were even on the America's Most Wanted Show. You plead NOT GUILTY.

God this man has a set of balls on him. At least bail is set at one million dollars. I hope they keep him locked up until his trial.

Guatemalan AP Report

2009-03-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

I am sure everyone has seen this one. The article itself is pretty horrible. War orphans from Guatemala's Dirty War were placed for adoption. There is one case where soldiers killed a husband and wife and then turned their child over to an orphanage in Guatemala. In the last year or so, there was a case of an adoptee suing her adoptive parents who ended up being a part of the group that killed her relinquishing parents.

Adoption corruption is beginning to make itself more and more obvious in all aspects of adoption.

Windy and Dry

2009-03-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

Texas is windy and dry right now. We have another chance of rain today and into the rest of this week. Our tanks are drying up. I am worried that I will not be able to set up a garden. Yes I want to get a garden going.

The wind itself has been horrible. I wish sometimes that I had exterior shutters to help keep the dust down in the house. Dusting is a constant chore. Exterior shutters would diminish the dust in the house. Bad part is that they would darken the house.

So please pray for rain in Texas. Ask for a good five to six inches if possible. If you are up north, blow it our way.

Adoption Advantage Goes Down

2009-03-25T08:15:00.001-07:00

Another adoption agency goes down due to unethical adoption practices. It is making big news in Arkansas. The attorney involved is Ed Webb. After checking for information on their website, it too has been removed. It is amazing how fast everything works at times. This agency is a for profit business.

According to news articles, fifty families were involved. Ed Webb has relinquished the agency's license but he still has not relinquished his attorney's license. It will be interesting to see if he jumps states only to set up shop somewhere else.

The adoption industry is such an incestuous industry. When one agency shuts down, many of the folks jump ship and go to work for another agency or set up shop under another name.

President Obama visiting Indiana

2009-03-25T07:56:00.001-07:00

He is speaking at the famous Notre Dame University in South Bend at the commencement. I am really pleased that he is doing this. Sadly many of the religious wing nuts are freaking out according to this article.

They are making this commencement about abortion. It should be about young men and women starting out on their life's journeys. It should be about encouraging and invigorating these young men and women to change their communities. No, it is about abortion. That is really a shame. How can a group of people use this as an excuse to continue bashing a president over his policies on abortion compared to rewarding hard working students for accomplishing their goals is totally beyond me.

Personally I am neither pro life or pro choice. As an adoptee I have a very special insight into these issues. Both of these groups use my birth status against me in attaining my rights in my birth state. One group is fearful that it will increase more abortions when the Alan Guttmacher Institute has proven otherwise. The other group is worried that abortion will become open. They fail to realize that abortion is a medical procedure.

How do I feel about abortion, adoption and safe haven? They both encourage the attitude that it is okay to get rid of the problem (me or any adoptee). Neither group really bothers to ask the adoptees of this country how we feel about it. Then again, they do not want to look at the dark side of adoption.

Just for Once

2009-03-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

I have been hearing about this case for a while. It is a shame that the United States does not slam pedophiles as harshly as they have this man. I wish for once that those that hurt women and children would get the harshest of penalties. It irritates me that I do not see our government valuing women and children as much as they profess that they do. This family values crap is just that - crap.

We as a society do not value our own humanity. We often forget that portion. The laws reflect it too. This case however reflects the really dark side of a male who wishes to possess and own women and children. It keeps getting worse with this guy. He is now being investigated for four additional murders.

Lets just send this man on his way to hell.

Another Article in Oklahoma

2009-03-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

People are always stunned when I talk about corruption in adoption. It exists for all of us. They look to scam us of our money. It doesn't matter if one is an adoptee, adoptive parent or even natural mother. It just doesn't matter. I have tried to come up with a sane explanation for all of it. It is sometimes just too consuming.

You ought to read this article. It shows that babies in Oklahoma are basically bought and sold. It is interesting that it is just causing worries. It should have been causing worries long ago.

Shakesville Visitors

2009-03-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Coleman Mom's and Babes! I am glad to see that many of you are visiting the blogs of adoptees and first mothers. We want you to hear our voices. Many of us are women just as yourselves. Our only difference between you and us is that we have the status of adoption to deal with.

We believe that sealed adoption records encourage more women to abort. The Alan Guttmacher Institute also gave us some lift with that as well. Adoption agencies these days receive federal and state monies that they use against adoptees and their families to prove their points.

Adoptees are women too. We deserve the same rights as other women in each state. We hope that you join us in this battle.

Check this Article Out

2009-03-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have been a fan of Shakespearessister for years. I was turned onto by a dear friend of mine years ago when I first got my computer.

There is an excellent article told from a firstmother point of view on the adoption vs. abortion argument. It is a must read for all living adoption. It brings that first mother point of view to the feminist side of the table. For years, the feminists have ignored those mothers of the past. I think it is wonderful that the feminists of today are realizing that adoption isn't any easier than abortion. The women of today need to realize that first mothers are just like them. I think we are starting to break through on this issue.

Can you believe this?

2009-03-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

I read this article this morning. I was furious that Rush Limbaugh would make light of such a serious subject. I do not even listen to the man anymore. Too many people give him credit where he deserves none. The Catholic Church is not my favorite religion at all. They are just too goofy now to be a viable religion. I remember being told that if I did not marry within the church that I would go to hell. Okay too much for me to handle so I just stopped going. I have gone back a few times but it wasn't enough for me.

A nine year old girl is raped by her step father. Her mother reports the crime. The girl is pregnant with twins. The doctors and her mother decide that it would be best if she had an abortion. The doctors are concerned that her body will not be able to handle the pregnancy. What does the Catholic church do? They ex-communicate the mother and the doctors in this case. What about the step father? Nothing. He is sitting in jail. No he is not excommunicated. This girl's life is ruined by the actions of one man, her step father. Shame on the Catholic Church for valuing his life over hers.

Indiana Open's First Video

2009-03-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

Indiana Open has launched their first video. Go check it out.

We want to thank the Adoptee Rights Philly folks for all of their expertise and help in making this possible. We used their idea to launch this video. We will be emailing to legislators this week.

Benedict Arnold of Adoptees

2009-03-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

SB 153 had passed both the Senate and the House. The only problem that they had to work out was contact preference form. One house had it in their bill and the other house did not. Somehow and some way, a Benedict Arnold of an adoptee managed to get the bill killed. Do not ask me why or how. That information has not been forth coming. Shame on this legislator who did this.

Don't count on getting voted back into office at the next election.

Adoptee Rights Philly

2009-03-12T12:47:00.000-07:00

There are some new videos out there for the Adoptee Rights Protest. Check them out below. This is about your rights. This is about restoring your right to access your original birth certificate.

The non adopted have access to their birth records. The non adopted do not have to ask their parent's permission to access their birth records upon adulthood. In fact, Indiana code states that the non adopted adult, upon verification of identification, is allowed immediate access to their birth records. Adoptees should have that same right.

In fact, Indiana code specifically states that natural parents are divested of all of their rights in regard to their child. This means that they do not have the right to dictate whether or not that the adoptee can access their own birth certificate. The natural parents do not get new rights in the process.

Learn these codes and love them. Breath them and make them a part of your being.

Adoptee Rights Demonstration Information

Midwife Denies Arranging an Illegal Adoption

2009-03-12T07:48:00.001-07:00

Is it any wonder that stories such as this one are coming out? There is no regulation of adoption at all in many countries. I asked a friend of mine recently about this in the training for attorneys. I have read it other places as well. There is very little training for attorneys. There maybe a chapter or two in law books. It is the same situation with the Indiana woman who was pleaded guilty to scamming prospective adoptive parents out of New York. Just one quick look at many of the tax records of adoption agencies is enough to make one realize that they are in the wrong business.

The adoption industry does not want to regulate itself thus putting an end to this kind of thing. It would mean that they too have to put an end to their actions. They most definitely do not want the federal and state governments looking into their actions.

Doing the Happy Dance

2009-03-11T14:58:00.000-07:00

We have been begging for rain here in Texas. We now have this huge swath of greenness, yellowness and a little bit of redness across Texas. Thank You God. I was beginning to get real worried. Our tanks are drying up. Our grass is brown. Things are just not growing. Hubby brought a huge round bale of hay out yesterday to see to it that the horses have plenty of feed.

They are talking four to six inches. Lets hope it pans out.

A Question Posed

2009-03-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

A question was posed recently. What have I done since high school? I have joined the military as a reservist and then went active duty for three years. I went to Saudi Arabia to fight in the Desert Storm. I was also stationed in Germany for a couple of years. I got married to a handsome cowboy. I have delivered mailed for a few years. I have also given birth to my fantastic daughters. I became an adoptee rights activist. I am also a homeschool mom. I live on one of the largest, most historic ranches in Texas. I sadly have missed two high school reunions. What have you done since you graduated?

high school reunions

Why can't people understand this?

2009-03-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

First thing this morning, I read this article. The commentary is typical. Its quick and easy to tell someone to not have sex. Everyone is also quick to assume that people are not married. In the article itself, it mentions a married couple. In order to have a good healthy marriage, guess what folks, sex is a part of that. Condemning people for natural behavior and biology is plain stupid. We sure are willing to bail out the CEOs of all these major banking and financial firms. Why can't we bail out humanity in our country? We do have economic downturn. Even adoptive parents are at a point where they can't afford children. They are forgoing the pricey adoption agencies in order to save money. They are going to the government to adopt children out of foster care. What is the big deal with providing contraception to people?

Good Grief

2009-03-09T14:53:00.001-07:00

Texas has introduced two bills that absolutely stink. The titles alone of them are extremely bad. They are called "In relation to the birth records of adopted children." Last time I checked I was adult. I am paying taxes, a former Desert Storm veteran, former letter carrier, and a voter. I disagree with these bills.

We are legislating search and reunion. These folks have got to be crazy. It is my birth certificate that they are regulating. I am not playing anymore when it comes to my rights. These folks do not speak for me.

It is ridiculous that this is even allowed to continue. What is so hard to understand that adoptees deserve the same access as everyone else?

Check out this article

2009-03-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

Scott Carney wrote an article for Mother Jones recently. It is a very interesting article. It again touches on the corruption in international adoption. It is important that people read this stuff before they begin their adoption process. Corruption exists in adoption. Part of the problem is the money. The other part is the lack of transparency in the adoption process.

No one really wants to listen to this part of the problem. How do you tell if there is a problem? Why is it so hard for people to stop and realize that adoption has become corrupted? When does it become corruption and coercive? Is it just one case? How many? For me personally, it just takes one time.

A Call to Change Michigan Laws

2009-03-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

There is all kinds of news that affect adoptees and their families. Michigan citizens are calling for a change in the laws in regarding the reporting of deaths relating to adoptees from foster care, adoption, and other similar events. They are wanting a neutral party to be contacted when there is such a death. Here is a quote from the article:

"The Office of the Children's Ombudsman (OCO) is an independent state agency. It investigates complaints about children involved with protective services, foster care, adoption services, and juvenile justice. The agency determines whether the DHS and/or private agency actions and decisions, as they relate to a particular child, complied with laws, rules, and DHS policies. OCO makes recommendations to the governor, legislators, and the DHS for changes in child welfare laws, rules, and policies to improve prospects for kids."

There needs to be a neutral party that must help in the regulation of DHS and adoption agencies. These agencies must be held to a higher authority in order to make effective change in our society. We need to make changes for the sake of children in our society. Right now things are not working in Michigan or for any other state.

Illinois Confidential Intermediaries: Are They Big Business?

2009-03-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that I hate confidential intermediaries. I can't stand them. If I hear of a good one, I will put them on Indiana Open as a point of reference. Right now I only have three of them. I know of three of them but I am checking on one to see if she is worth with it. I try to inform both adoptees and natural mothers that they have a choice in confidential intermediaries in Indiana. I have met one too many people who have had heartache in dealing with Indiana confidential intermediaries.

After talking with a friend of mine on Saturday, she sent me sniffing in a direction that I had not really thought of. I have seen what people have gone through with the Illinois confidential intermediary system. This friend of mine sent me on a research spree. It is pretty nasty if you ask me. Right now there is a bill (HB 4623) that will give some adoptees access while still keeping the CI system intact.

There are two primary agencies that provide CI services in Illinois. One of which is Midwest Adoption Center who I will discuss in detail. The other one is Whiteoak Foundation.

Midwest Adoption Center:

Midwest Adoption Center is run by Nancy Golden and Gretchen Schulert.

According to their tax returns:

2007 2006 2005 2004
Gross Receipts $973,863 $895,294 $845,547 $860,290
Program Service Fees $973,737 $895,294 $845,459 $860,255
Public Donations $105

Board of Directors
Gretchen Schulert $101,571 $78,800 $104,171
Nancy Golden $101,571 $91,366 $125,443
Rebecca Nolan $55,884 $51,300

In 2007 Gretchen was the president of this organization but in years past it has been Nancy Golden. Gretchen owns both of the websites, Midwest Adoption Center and CI Illinois. Some other key information that also plays into the finances behind this organization. Mike Golden, Nancy's husband and attorney, was paid $2,100 on their last tax form for clerical expenses. West Monroe Partners, a company owned by Gretchen's husband, was paid $20,601 for computer database services, website stat sampling, report preparation, and interpretation to DCFS.

That is a lot of money that is made off the backs of adoptees and first mothers. It makes many of the adoption agencies paychecks seem small in comparison. It currently costs $495 to do just one search for one individual. It goes up another $400 for additional searches for other individuals. They are offering a special because of a special grant that they have received. It only lasts as long as there are funds with this grant.

As I was researching just this organization alone, I discovered some interesting things. According to their website, they were the ones that set up the confidential intermediary system in Indiana. They did the design and delivery of the confidential intermediary progrm through out the state of Illinois under a contract with IDCFS. Wow I wonder how much they got from the state of Illinois. It looks like a lot.

I researched a little on Nancy Golden. It is very interesting indeed. According to the website biography:

"Nancy Golden, Clinical Director at the Midwest Adoption Center, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has worked in adoption and foster care services in an agency setting and in private practice. Before the formation of MAC, she was the Unit Director of the foster care, adoption and maternity program of Lutheran Social Services of Illinois. The focus of Nancy's clinical work has been in promoting healthy growth and development for children and their birth, foster and adoptive families. In addition, she presents workshops and seminars at local as well as national conferences."

I googled her and found this. It is a lawsuit against Lutheran Social Services of Illinois and Nancy Golden. Nancy Golden went to the plaintiff's employer and advised them of the allegations of sexual abuse against the plaintiff. She did not tell the employer that those allegations had proved to be false. Because of her actions, he lost his job.

So can adoptee get a fair break in their usage of their services? Somehow I do not think so.

I checked out Whiteoak Foundation's Tax form as well. Melisha Mitchell is the executive director. David Ormsby is their deputy executive. Roland Calia is their adminstrator.

2007 2006 2005
Gross Receipts $131,259 $124,846 $166,387
Government Grants $131,174 $124,796 $163,162
Public Donations $85 $50 $3,225

Board of Directors
Melisha Mitchell $69,000 $65,000 $64,000
David Ormsby $35,000 $35,000
Roland Calia $18,000 $35,000

It is really interesting how our tax dollars are spent. Midwest has more of a financial investment in keeping things the way that they are. The bad thing is that Midwest also has the backing of LSSI behind them in keeping such. Their gross receipts average about $85,000,000 per year. Not bad for a church if you ask me.

Another Country shutting its doors to Vietnam

2009-03-07T23:28:00.000-08:00

Another country, Ireland, is questioning the adoption policies of Vietnam. In 2008, Sweden and the United States both ceased doing adoptions through Vietnam due to many issues with child trafficking with the intent to sell a child into the adoption industry. Last I heard as well was that Vietnam was looking to set itself as a Hague Country as well. They were looking to set up certain restrictions with prospective adoptive parents. Time will tell how this all pans out. It is getting more costly for adoptive parents to adopt from overseas. Add this to the corruption potential, adoptive parents are looking into other avenues especially foster care. That goodness if you ask me.

Oh Good Grief How Stupid are they really?

2009-03-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

I could never ever leave my children in a hot car. I have not ever totally lost my mind in a sense that I would forget my children. Everyone in the adoption community was in uproar. The Russians were really pissed when this case went to trial and he was found not guilty of manslaughter. This article came out in the news today.

One particular section really perturbed me as mother and an adoptee. I honestly do not believe that the Harrisons should have another child, adopted or natural.

Here is the part that really concerns me:

Lyn Balfour is a 37-year-old Army reservist. Her son, Bryce, died on March 30, 2007, the day she accidentally left the 9-month-old in the parking lot of the Charlottesville, Va., judge advocate general's office, where she worked as a transportation administrator. She was acquitted of involuntary manslaughter in his death.

Balfour attended the trial of Miles Harrison, and walked up to Harrison in the hallway during a break. She pushed past a crowd and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close. For almost a full minute, she whispered in his ear. His eyes grew wider, and then he sobbed into her shoulder like a baby. What she had told him was who she was and that she knows he'd been a good, loving father, and he must not be ashamed.

In their home, Carol and Miles Harrison have kept Chase's nursery exactly as it was. "Sometimes we'll look at a picture together," Harrison says, "and I will see Carol cry. She tries not to let me see, but I see, and I feel such guilt and hurt."

Harrison says he knows it is unlikely he and Carol will be allowed to adopt again. "I have cheated her out of being a mother. She would be the best mother in the world."

Miles and Carol Harrison deserve another child, Balfour said. They would be wonderful parents.

Balfour says she's made up her mind. If Miles and Carol Harrison are denied another adoption, if they exhaust all their options and are still without a baby, she will offer to carry one for them, as a gift."

God I just love being a frigging gift to people.

Update on Adam Herrman

2009-03-06T14:50:00.000-08:00

The judge in the case of Adam Herrman has decided against lifting the restraining order on his adoption files. As many remember a couple months back, Adam Herrman was discovered missing. The bad thing is that he was missing for ten years. His adoptive parents never reported it. It was his natural parents who attempted to make contact. They were told that he has been missing for years. In the meantime, his "adoptive parents" were still collecting adoption subsidies from the government.

According to this news report:

Friday an attorney representing the Butler County Attorney's office told Judge Mike Ward the county attorney's office no longer objects to releasing those documents. The judge ruled there is still no evidence the Herrman case is a homicide, so he upheld the restraining order.

Hopefully the case will be presented to the Butler county Attorney General's office soon. The adoptive parents are suspects in this case. As many also remember, there was numerous complaints from family members on both sides of abuse.

An Interesting article on Child Trafficking

2009-03-06T11:41:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year, there was a story of an adoption agency being shut down in Liberia. It is wild that these stories do not make headlines more. It is sad because children are just not valued in any country unless of course they are sold for adoption into other countries. Child Trafficking is a very real problem for the United States as well as other countries. It is often sadly ignored.

I have mentioned concerns over these issues with my U.S. Representative Mac Thornberry but it often goes ignored. Everyone wants to believe that adoption is good. It can be in the right circumstances but it is become an antiquated and abusive institution. Too many state and federal legislators have been listening to the adoption industry.

Too bad they don't listen to adoptees and their families.

South Dakota and Rhode Island have clean bills

2009-02-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

Woooo Hoooooo. So many states instroducing legislation. Check this article out.

Yea Rhode Island and South Dakota. Lets hope that they get it done. We need some hope here people.

Doing the happy dance now. Indiana Legislators it is time to consider adoptees as equal American citizens.

Good Grief

2009-02-23T07:34:00.000-08:00

I remember reading this story. I even wrote about it. The adoptive parents are taking this all the way to the Supreme Court. According to the article:

"They continue to feel that the lower court and the Court of Appeals made an erroneous decision," John Mills, an attorney for the Unthanks, said Wednesday. "They want to continue until there are no more appeals (to be made)."

Good Grief let it go people. The courts have ruled that Cody belongs with Kenneth and Christine. The entitlement of some adoptive parents give the rest of adoptive parents a really bad name. When does it end? Shame on Unthanks for allowing this to continue

The adopters have filed this case with the Michigan Supreme Court on 2/3/09. Interestingly this case was won because of the precedents set by the Baby Jessica/Anna case.

Doofus Award goes to the NCFA

2009-02-22T08:22:00.000-08:00

The National Council for Adoption finally after a year and half gives its rebuttal to the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. They say the statistics in the EBD study are flawed because it doesn't prove either way that adoptee access doesn't cause any problems. Well I would like to know where they get their statistics from. I have not come across stories of stalking adoptees from Oregon, New Hampshire, Alabama, Kansas, and Alaska. Now the states with sealed records yes. I do. I think it is a reflection on those states. The states with sealed records encourage enabling of both the adoption industry and the shame of the adoptee and their families. Why do these states feel the need to regulate the relationships of its adoptive communitities but not the non adopted? What makes us extra special unless of course adoption is the presumptive that causes harm? If that is the case, why is this country in the practice of adoption?

Update on Indiana Legislature

2009-02-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

Sadly SB 303 has not even had a second reading yet. The legislator is concerned about an amendment that was added at the last minute. The amendment added is one that allows any child age 2 and older to be considered special needs. I like to think that this has more to do with financial matters more than anything else. If a child is considered special needs, then they will be eligible for both state and federal adoption subsidies. I can't say for sure but it could be that the Senator is worried about situations like Adam Herrman occurring in the state of Indiana. We only have a few more days to worry about this bill.

Samoan Adoption Scam Spurs Adoption Reformists

2009-02-17T13:37:00.000-08:00

A recent article came out about the Samoan adoption scandal and the Banks. It is sad that we still can not get federal oversight of adoption agencies. It is time to put people like Scott and Karen Banks in jail. They do not deserve to be free on probation. They are nasty individuals. Its a shame that the federal folks won't step up and make them serve jail time.

They hurt families, natural and adoptive. They stole children. It is shame that our society still devalues children and women in order to let thieves like this to get away with murder. Please write Judge Sam on this and tell him that this folks owe justices to families in two countries.

To all the remaining ethical and decent human beings out there who respect children, A.P. and bio mothers unlike the SLEEZEBAGS SCOTT AND KAREN BANKS

express you outrage today write

The Honorable Judge Sam
350 S Main Street
Salt Lake City, UT 84111

TO those grief stricken victims of the PIGGY BANKS

express your heart ache to

Ms. Wendy White
350 Main Street
Salt Lake City, UT 84101

Oklahoma is Changing their laws on Child Trafficking

2009-02-17T13:28:00.000-08:00

Oklahoma is looking to change the laws on adoption. I have heard some serious horror stories of baby selling in Oklahoma. Adoptive parents are being charged close to $100,000 for a baby. Oklahoma legislators are hoping to put a stop to it. No more cars in exchange for children. No more expensive bling in exchange for a child. I commend Oklahoma for attempting this. This law is targeted at adoption atttorneys and facilitators. I honestly expect this bill to get killed because attorneys know people in the legislature. They usually control the adoption laws in their state. Time will tell on this one.

Oklahoma is taking a Step Backwards.

2009-02-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

This article came out today in the Tulsa World. They want to remove the biological heritage from birth certificates. They want to deny the donor/gamete children their future right to their heritage. It never ceases to amaze me the ignorance of some legislators. This kind of situation has got to stop.

Children become adults. These adults want answers. Adoptees have been screaming for decades about these very issues. Now we are going into an even worse direction.

Tonight, The Eleventh Hour is showing a show on cloned children. Its scary that this might actually come true. Its horrifying to think about this. We are doing this wrong. We have to stop.

Adoptee Rights Philly

2009-02-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

Time is drawing closer. Its time to make plans for the Adoptee Rights Protest. Have you made your flight reservations yet? Have you gotten your luggage for this wonderous occasion? July 21st is just around the corner. Time is flying fast. What about your hotel reservations? Its time to get them done.

No update on Indiana

2009-02-09T12:13:00.000-08:00

There is still no update currently on SB 280 and SB 303. We are currently waiting to see what the bill reads in its entirety. This bill has many more questions than it has answers.

We are patiently waiting for the Senate to meet and go forward on this. Please be patient. Write to legislators that you want a clean records bill. Tell them that the state of Indiana could earn money dealing with adoptees and their families directly. With Indiana being tax burdened right now, that could be a good thing for Indiana.

Tell them that adoptees deserve to be treated as equal American citizens. We are not mere products of conception. Its time to do it right this time.

California Open is Open for Business

2009-02-09T11:46:00.000-08:00

Cal Open is a California adoptee rights organization dedicated to adoptee rights. They have just set up shop. They are ready to rock. Please visit them and show them your support for this very important issue for adoptees.

Adoptees have been fighting for thirty years to get access to their original birth certificates. The issue of adoptee access to the document that records their birth is a hard one to fight. The National Council for Adoption has traditionally come out against this issue. It is often confused with confidentiality and privacy. It is also confused with abortion issues.

Adoptees just want what is rightfully theirs. The non adopted do not have to fight to get access to a document that records their birth. The non adopted do no have to get their parents' permission to view the document that records their birth. Why should adoptees? It is time to make the laws equal. No special privileges. No special immunities. Just the equal treatment under the law.

ICWA

2009-02-09T10:38:00.000-08:00

According to a recent article on CNN, Campbell Brown called the ICWA "ridiculous." What she fails to realize is that this Act is in there for a purpose. Native Americans are consistently losing the rights in regards to their children and the help that they are honestly owed by our United States Government. This is all in over the Larson case. The truth is the adoption agency had no jurisdiction over this case. We need to recognize the rights of Native Americans. The Indian Nations have sole jurisdiction over their own people. We as Americans do not have that.

Native American adoptees are still to do this fighting to restore their right to their heritage. This needs to stop.

A CALL TO ACTION FOR INDIANA ADOPTEES AND THEIR SUPPORTERS

2009-01-23T19:45:00.001-08:00

This article alerted me to the problems of the bills, SB 280 and SB 303. Indiana Open and the AAC were working together to attempt to get a clean bill in the state of Indiana. I had planted the seed of adoptee access in Senator Miller's ear approximately a year ago because she responded to an email that was hopeful. Her biggest concern was that adoptee access will cause more abortions.

She had submitted SB 303 with the promise to our legislative liason that Indiana Open and the AAC would be included on any testimony. Sadly she never followed through. She met with them and then stated that she would speak with

Kirsh and Kirsh. Without telling us, she and Senator Lubbers merged their bills without any further contact with us. According to the article, Kirsh and Kirsh became actively involved in the process.

The result is very horrible. It hurts adoption. It hurts natural parents. It hurts adoptive parents. Most importantly it hurts adoptees. Adoptees are the most important part of adoption. Adoption is supposed to be in our best interests. However with these bills, this is not the case. It is anti adoptee all the way to Kirsh and Kirsh's pocketbook. Kirsh and Kirsh are also members of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys which is notoriously against adoptee access and for anything that makes their jobs quicker and more profitable. According to this blog report, Kirsh and Kirsh report doing 155 adoptions a year. At the average cost of $25,000 per adoption, that totals up to $3.8 plus million dollars. It sounds like they are throwing their wealth around to get what they want.

Kirsh and Kirsh want this bill to become law so that Indiana will become like Utah. Utah is known for its corruption. It uses its religion to force young men and women to relinquish their children. Indiana already has a case where that has happened. Brynden Ayre is a graduate student at Indiana University. He was dating a woman who had two children. She did not want a third child. She had threatened to dump their child in Indiana. He acted quickly and put his name on the putative registry. She jumped state to Texas. He did the same thing again. She encountered Adoption Services Associates who later introduced his girlfriend to Jenna Lee Ryan of her home based premium choice snowflake business. Jenna Lee Ryan shipped her to Utah with the Adoption Center of Choice. He got an attorney in preparation for a battle but this attorney was an American Academy of Adoption Attorneys member. This attorney then saw to it that he did not file on the putative registry in time. He is now appealling his case. There are two other fathers fighting this to the Supreme Courts in Utah with this same agency, Cody O'Dea and Joshua Simmerson.

Kirsh and Kirsh are however not good attorneys. The rumor on the adoption underground is that they are very corrupt. I have found two cases where they have tried to violate the father's right to parent their own child. With one father, they even went too far. The adoptive parents in one case backed out. Kirsh and Kirsh went and got another set of adoptive parents to complete the adoption. Fortunately they lost the case. There are others out there though. I have read them.

So for those reading today Please contact these legislators and tell them to VOTE NOTE ON SB 280 AND SB 303.